Luke: I don't want a wood-burning fireplace-
Lorelai: Luke?
Luke: ...but if I take an apartment with a wood-burning fireplace even though I could give a rat's ass about a wood-burning fireplace, I have to pay an extra $200 a month for the wood-burning fireplace.
Lorelai: Yeah, but-
Luke: Three of the places make you put down a $500 deposit if you have a dog! Can you believe this?
Lorelai: You don't have a dog.
Luke: I know, but it's wrong.
Lorelai: Agreed. What else?
Luke: Parking! How can people ask you for a monthly fee for a parking space? I mean, they're making money off your rent, your utilities, when you use their coin-operated washer and dryer. That's cash directly in their pocket and, by the way, it's not even that good a parking space. It's out in the open under one of those trees that drops the sap on your car that eats away the paint.
Lorelai: Luke?
Luke: Who's gonna pay for my car, huh? Where's my $500 paint-killing, tree-sap deposit?

Michel: Are you going to be down there long?
Lorelai: [o.s.] I just want to make sure Rory's bracelet didn't get kicked behind something.
Michel: And so earlier when you asked me to look for the bracelet and I told you I did look, and I did not find it, you...
Lorelai: Just decided to double-check.
Michel: Yes, though another theory is that you did not believe me.
Lorelai: I did, too.
Michel: No, I believe you thought I was lying that I did not actually get down on my hands and knees in a brand-new Donna Karan suit and crawl around on a floor where people who have stepped in mud and garbage and animal waste have been traipsing all day long.

Jess: So, you guys aren't too hot on vegetables, huh?
Lorelai: What are you talking about? There's green pepper in the Kung Pao.
Jess: My mistake.
Lorelai: So, are you a healthy eater like Luke?
Jess: No one's a healthy eater like Luke. Euell Gibbons wasn't a healthy eater like Luke.
Lorelai: Wow, it's been ages since I heard a good Euell Gibbons reference.
Jess: Many parts of the pine tree are edible.
Lorelai: That's right. God, I wonder what the research process was like to get that information.
Jess: I'd say fairly painful.