TV Quotes

Lorelai: How about a triple feature? Three Days of the Condor, The Show, and The Jerk.
Rory: Hmm. The Show is, like, 9.5 hours.
Lorelai: But The Jerk is short.
Rory: Hmm.
Lorelai: The three faces of Costner: Bull Durham, Dances with Wolves, The Postman. Tom Petty playing Tom Petty, that great big speech about: "Once upon a time, there was a thing called mail. It'll make you laugh, cry, or mail something."
Rory: Ooh, we could do a Ruth Gordon film festival. Harold and Maude, Rosemary's Baby, and that really great episode of Taxi.
Lorelai: Got it. The worst film festival ever: Cool as Ice, Hudson Hawk, and Electric Boogaloo.
Rory: Sold.
Lorelai: I'll get the Hawk.
Rory: I'll get the Boogaloo.

Richard: You didn't order any grapefruit.
Lorelai: Yeah, I don't really like grapefruit.
Richard: Hmm. I always start my breakfast with half a grapefruit.
Lorelai: Do the Florida people know about you? Because Anita Bryant left this huge gap that has yet to be filled.
Richard: It's important to start the day off correctly, Lorelai. A grapefruit is brain food. It has vitamin C and folic acid, and it helps with your digestion. It really is a terrific fruit.
Lorelai: I feel like you're about to break into song.
Richard: I'm serious about this, Lorelai.
Lorelai: I know you are, but I still don't like grapefruit.
Richard: Well, there are many things in life that we don't like but their benefits far outweigh the temporary discomforts we have to endure.

Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.

Rory: Ready?
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Rory: No.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."