Emily: You know what? I'm not returning the gift. I'm going to put it away in a closet and you won't know what it is until you do get married someday.
Lorelai: Tell me now.
Emily: Sorry.
Lorelai: Come on, I may never get married. I may be a free spirit my whole life or I'll fall in love with a separated Catholic guy like Katharine Hepburn did and then not get to go to his funeral when he dies.

Lorelai: "Past graduates: Henry James." Isn't that a beer?
Rory: And a novelist. Go on.
Lorelai: "John Adams." That's a beer.
Rory: Our second President. He's very in right now.
Lorelai: "W.E.B. DuBois, Yo-Yo Ma." Oh, cool! Fred Gwynne.
Rory: Who?
Lorelai: Herman Munster. Now I'm impressed.
Rory: Want something?
Lorelai: A nice, cool Henry James.
Rory: Or some coffee?
Lorelai: Or some coffee.

Lorelai: So, what about dinner?
Rory: It should probably be something healthy, since we've been eating junk.
Lorelai: We had lettuce on our burgers last night.
Rory: We picked it off.
Lorelai: But it left its essence.
Rory: There's lettuce essence on our burgers?
Lorelai: Definitely.
Rory: And that satisfied our vegetable requirement?
Lorelai: For the week.
Rory: We can't argue with cold, hard facts.