TV Quotes

Lorelai: I mean, for example, why can't you keep a maid in this house? I mean, there must have been a thousand women who have gone through here in the 32 years that I've been alive. And not one of them could stick it out.
Emily: And this is what we need to discuss right now?
Lorelai: These are women from countries that have dictatorships, civil wars and death squads. All of that, they survived. But five minutes working for Emily Gilmore, and people are begging for Castro.
Emily: I'm going to bed now.
Lorelai: And why is it that when your only daughter tells you she is getting married you can't muster up even a little enthusiasm? Even a little fake enthusiasm? Why don't you pretend that you care? I mean, this is the biggest thing to happen to me, possibly for the rest of my life. And you dismissed it, like I said: "Hey, I'm thinking of getting a Honda. What do you think?"
Emily: You're obviously hysterical.
Lorelai: Why don't you care? Why have you never cared? No matter what has happened to me my entire life you've never been happy for me. And that hurts, Mom. It really hurts.
Emily: I'm not discussing this with you.
Lorelai: Do you know how it felt for me to tell you that I was getting married and to have you just brush it off like that? Do you know?
Emily: No, I don't- I don't know! Possibly very similar to finding out from a complete stranger that my only daughter was getting married and had told every other person in the world before she bothered to tell her own mother! Possibly it felt something like that. Now if you will excuse me, it is late and I am going to bed.

Rory: When are you going to tell them?
Lorelai: Soon.
Rory: When is soon?
Lorelai: When the big hand hits the 'S' and the little hand hits the 'oon'.

Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.

Rory: Ready?
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Rory: No.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."