Emily Quote #488
Lorelai: Here we go.
Emily: What is this?
Lorelai: This is my car.
Emily: We can't go in this. We have to take the other car.
Lorelai: What other car? No, Mom, that's not a car. That's a rap-video set.
Emily: I ordered it specially. It has the darkest windows available. They say it's the car Jay-Z uses when he's in town. I assume that's an entertainer of some sort. The windows are bulletproof. They kept saying that as if it's a selling point. I told them I was not paying extra for bulletproof windows. I haven't been strafed in years.
Quote from Michel
Michel: [on the phone] This is a lawsuit. You do not fool with people's heads and bodies like this. No, you listen! You-
Lorelai: Sookie, emergency. I'm crashing.
Sookie: Fresh pot over there.
Michel: You know you wouldn't treat Nicole Kidman like this. Nicole Kidman. Red hair, tall. Okay, then, Julia Roberts. You wouldn't treat Julia Roberts like this. Red hair, tall. Okay, then, Scarlett Johansson. What are you, a shut-in?
Lorelai: Why is he prancing?
Michel: I will call my lawyer, and you'll hear from him when I do. Kiss my tush! [hangs up] Mmm. Damn it! You can trust nothing and no one ever.
Quote from Emily
Emily: Whatever it is, I want her name big and prominent.
Rory: My name?
Richard: The Rory Gilmore political science building.
Emily: The Rory Gilmore anthropology building.
Rory: Uh, guys?
Richard: The Rory Gilmore cultural center.
Emily: The Rory Gilmore auditorium.
Quote from Emily
Rory: While I think it's very generous of both of you to want to do this for me-
Emily: The Rory Gilmore observatory.
Rory: I still go to Yale, so having something with my name on it might be kind of-
Richard: The Rory Gilmore center for international affairs.
Emily: Oh, wait, the Rory Gilmore library.
Richard: And art gallery.
Emily: And ancient-history museum.
Lorelai: Forget it, kid, Grandma and Grandpa have gone bye-bye.
Richard: The Rory Gilmore medical research laboratory.
Emily: No that sounds like monkey testing. People will picket!
Quote from Blame Booze and Melville
Lorelai: Look, Mom, I was mad at you when I did the interview, okay? And I said things but I didn't mean them, it just happened. And I'm not used to talking to reporters. I didn't know about the whole "off the record, on the record" thing. But I know now. And I'm really sorry it happened.
Emily: I did not force Jimmy Carter out of his room at that hotel.
Lorelai: See, now that I thought was just an amusing anecdote.
Emily: I did not get into a, quote, "bitch-fight" with him. He's an ex-president! It was with that insufferable Rosalyn.
Quote from You Jump, I Jump, Jack
Emily: Diners are generally so filthy. I'm sure yours isn't, but the horror stories you hear. I read that one in Vermont got caught serving roadkill. Do you know what that is?
Luke: Uh, yeah, it's, uh, dead animals from the street.
Emily: From the street, from the backyard, fished out of pools. These diners find it and serve it. Again, probably not yours. But the fact that this place got away with it at all is astounding. I guess people who frequent diners don't look too closely at what they're eating out of self defense.
Luke: We don't serve roadkill at my place.
Emily: Well, good for you. I had a friend who ate at a diner once and the next day she dropped dead. Her family considered suing the place but there's nothing to get from these people. A couple of stools and a toaster. But they were sure it was a matter of hygiene and they eventually drove them out of the state. I don't want to tell you what they found when they moved the stove. Would you like another beer, Luke?
Quote from I'd Rather Be in Philadelphia
Lorelai: I'm just saying it's a cliche.
Emily: What is?
Lorelai: Hospital food being bad.
Emily: It's a cliche for a reason. Cliches are true things that people are tired of being true. Like, "a penny saved is a penny earned." Well it is, invested wisely.
Lorelai: I don't think that's a cliche, mom.
Emily: What do you mean? Of course it's a cliche.
Lorelai: It's not a cliche. That's more an overused saying, like "I'm sweating bullets" or "it's as cold as ice."
Emily: Well, some overused sayings are true, like "children should be seen and not heard."
Lorelai: "Mother knows best."
Emily: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."