Emily: I did not force Jimmy Carter out of his room at that hotel.
Lorelai: See, now that I thought was just an amusing anecdote.
Emily: I did not get into a, quote, "bitch-fight" with him. He's an ex-president! It was with that insufferable Rosalyn.

Kirk: Sally Forth is on fire today. On fire!
Luke: Where did you get a quarter of a million dollars!
Kirk: What? I don't have a quarter of a million dollars.
Luke: You don't?
Kirk: No. Just shy. It's $247,868. Sixty-seven, if I get a couple of donuts to go. Those chocolate raised are calling my name.
Luke: Where the hell did you get that much money?
Kirk: I've been working for eleven years, Luke. I've had fifteen thousand jobs. I've saved every dollar I've ever made. That and the miracle of compound interest has created a bounty of a quarter of a million dollars. Again, just under. I don't want to brag.

Lorelai: So, there's no machine?
Doctor: Machine?
Lorelai: Yeah, a machine you could stick me in. You know, you're putting pig vessels in people. Isn't there a machine that could tell me right away, away from the prying eyes of the garbage man?
Doctor: You really need to wait and take the test at the proper time.
Lorelai: Okay, see, I'm eating an apple. Now, normally, this would not be a sign of anything except hunger. Except I don't eat much fruit. I know I should, but I don't have a hankering for it. Had it when I was pregnant with my first kid, though. Kept craving those apples. And this morning, boy, was I craving an apple.
Doctor: Well, that could be a sign.
Lorelai: It could?
Doctor: Or not.
Lorelai: [sighs] Okay. You're nice. You're sweet. I've taken up too much of your time. Thank you.