Lorelai: [on the phone] Why didn't you mention this to Mom at dinner? Maybe she would have been less panicked about what he's doing and the now-infamous glitter vest.
Rory: I don't want to open a can of worms.
Lorelai: How would that open up a can of worms?
Rory: If I told her what I said, I'd have to tell her I had lunch with him, a lunch I had previously not informed her of and that would have made her jealous and defensive. The less you tell Grandma, the better.
Lorelai: [gasps] By George, I think she's got it.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: I have been trying to burn that into your brain since you were a baby, but you stubbornly resisted. Now a breakthrough.

Richard: I'm sorry about the mess. My man is with his sick mother, and I'm kind of left in the lurch here.
Lorelai: Ah, your Lurch left you in the lurch. Hey, is that where that's from? You know, Lurch on the Addams Family? 'Cause he would leave people in the lurch?
Lorelai: I'm not familiar with the etymology of Lurch.

Luke: You were never supposed to tip me, anyway.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: I'm the proprietor. You're not supposed to tip the proprietor, even when they serve you.
Lorelai: You mean all those years, that extra 20% was unnecessary?
Luke: You never tipped me 20%.
Lorelai: Ooh. Now it's getting ugly.
Luke: You were a solid 15 percenter, sometimes less if the bill got higher. Way less if you were mad at me about something.
Lorelai: Well, it doesn't matter. I wasn't supposed to be tipping you, anyway.