Lorelai Quote #1750
Lorelai: [on the phone] Why didn't you mention this to Mom at dinner? Maybe she would have been less panicked about what he's doing and the now-infamous glitter vest.
Rory: I don't want to open a can of worms.
Lorelai: How would that open up a can of worms?
Rory: If I told her what I said, I'd have to tell her I had lunch with him, a lunch I had previously not informed her of and that would have made her jealous and defensive. The less you tell Grandma, the better.
Lorelai: [gasps] By George, I think she's got it.
Lorelai: I have been trying to burn that into your brain since you were a baby, but you stubbornly resisted. Now a breakthrough.
Quote from Lorelai
Richard: I'm sorry about the mess. My man is with his sick mother, and I'm kind of left in the lurch here.
Lorelai: Ah, your Lurch left you in the lurch. Hey, is that where that's from? You know, Lurch on the Addams Family? 'Cause he would leave people in the lurch?
Lorelai: I'm not familiar with the etymology of Lurch.
Quote from Luke
Luke: You were never supposed to tip me, anyway.
Luke: I'm the proprietor. You're not supposed to tip the proprietor, even when they serve you.
Lorelai: You mean all those years, that extra 20% was unnecessary?
Luke: You never tipped me 20%.
Lorelai: Ooh. Now it's getting ugly.
Luke: You were a solid 15 percenter, sometimes less if the bill got higher. Way less if you were mad at me about something.
Lorelai: Well, it doesn't matter. I wasn't supposed to be tipping you, anyway.
Quote from Afterboom
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."
Quote from Let the Games Begin
Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.