Luke Quote #56
Luke: It's Rachel's birthday. Don't say anything. She doesn't want anyone to know. She hates birthdays.
Lorelai: Not as much as she'll hate the potholders.
Luke: I don't know how to buy gifts. I don't like to buy gifts. I don't like getting gifts. I mean, this whole gift-giving-and-getting process is completely insane.
Lorelai: The rant begins.
Luke: I mean, suddenly, on a certain date the level of my affection for a person isn't measured by the way I treat them or what we share. [Lorelai yawns] Just because I didn't buy her furry slippers or a giant shoetree... all of a sudden, I suck.
Quote from Luke
Lorelai: Why don't you go to the mall, walk around a little.
Luke: No. No malls. I hate malls.
Lorelai: Rant number two.
Luke: They underpay employees and overprice merchandise. They contribute to urban sprawl. They encourage materialism. The parking's a horror. You drive in, you pay a buck. And even if you're only there for five...
Lorelai: Okay, Emma Goldman, I'll tell you what. I'll go for you.
Quote from Lorelai
Luke: I'm not trying anything on.
Lorelai: Hey, it's not like the lumberjack look will ever go out, it won't. But just once, wouldn't it be nice not to be dressed like an extra from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?
Quote from Richard
Emily: So, what's going on at school today?
Rory: Oh, I have a test in Spanish.
Richard: Are you prepared?
Rory: Oh, yeah. I like Spanish. Biology, on the other hand...
Richard: Mmm. I'm still waiting for the day when my knowledge of the inner workings of a frog's intestinal system can be applied to my work in the insurance industry.
Rory: Perhaps if you were insuring the frog.
Quote from Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers
Lorelai: I don't know what's wrong with me. This is a beautiful festival. People should be enjoying it.
Luke: It's a crazy festival based on a nutty myth about two lunatics who in all probability did not even exist. Even if they did, they probably dropped dead of diphtheria before age 24. The town of Stars Hollow probably got its name from the local dance hall prostitute. Two rich drunk guys who made up the story to make it look good on a poster.
Lorelai: You're full of hate and loathing, and I got to tell you I love it.
Luke: Oh, it's good to have someone to share this hate with.
Quote from Chicken or Beef?
Luke: Please, there is no fate.
Lorelai: What do you mean there is no fate? Of course there is fate.
Luke: There is no fate, there is no destiny, there is no luck. Astrology is ridiculous. Tarot cards tell you nothing. You cannot read a palm. Tea leaves make tea and nothing else. Jim Morrison is not hanging out with Elvis, and the Kennedys did not kill Marilyn.
Lorelai: I totally knew you were gonna say that.
Luke: I came over here. My fault.
Lorelai: I read your mind. It spoke to me. We're psychic.
Luke: Enjoy the fries.