Luke: Please, there is no fate.
Lorelai: What do you mean there is no fate? Of course there is fate.
Luke: There is no fate, there is no destiny, there is no luck. Astrology is ridiculous. Tarot cards tell you nothing. You cannot read a palm. Tea leaves make tea and nothing else. Jim Morrison is not hanging out with Elvis, and the Kennedys did not kill Marilyn.
Lorelai: I totally knew you were gonna say that.
Luke: I came over here. My fault.
Lorelai: I read your mind. It spoke to me. We're psychic.
Luke: Enjoy the fries.

Lorelai: I've had a business epiphany. It's like I'm Bud Fox, saying, "Thanks for the lesson, Mr. Gekko."
Luke: This will pass, folks.
Lorelai: The Lorelai you knew is dead. Remember her? The eager to please, fresh of face? She thought that success in business meant working hard, applying yourself, and respecting your coworkers, and she preached that to others. Oh, little child.
Luke: You should probably get some rest.
Lorelai: It's about scratching backs, my friend, and kissing things. I won't be graphic.
Luke: It is Sunday morning.
Lorelai: It's dirty, that's what business is. It's smoke-filled back rooms with exposed pipes and shady players chewing on fat cigars and twirling their dirty mustaches. And when you go into those rooms, you can't be a milquetoast muppet. You have to have pointy teeth and jaws that snap. The meek shall not inherit the earth!
Luke: Thanks for the perspective.

Lane: What did you expect him to do, not go to college?
Zach: No true rock 'n' roller goes to college!
Rory: Mick Jagger went to the London School of Economics.
Zach: What?
Rory: Yeah, and, Dexter Holland of The Offspring got his PhD in molecular biology at USC. Greg Ginn of Black Flag graduated from UCLA. The guy from Bad Religion got his masters in geology from UCLA, and he's working on his PhD in evolutionary biology at Cornell.