Lorelai Quote #179
Lorelai: So, you should have a decent reason for hating something before you really decide you hate it.
Rory: Trust me, I'll hate it. It'll be stuffy and boring, and the music will suck. And since none of the kids at school like me I'll be standing in the back listening to 98 Degrees watching Tristin and Paris argue over who gets to make me miserable first.
Lorelai: Okay. Or it'll be all sparkly and exciting. You'll be on the dance floor listening to Tom Waits with some great-looking guy staring at you so hard you don't realize that Paris and Tristin have just been eaten by bears.
Rory: What guy?
Lorelai: I don't know. Maybe the guy who hangs out in our trees all day waiting for you.
Rory: Dean does not hang out in trees.
Lorelai: He bashed his head in a branch last week when I came out of the house too quickly.
Quote from Emily
Lorelai: Well, see, we didn't actually have a big use for the crystal candlesticks. So I kind of... exchanged them.
Emily: For what?
Lorelai: A monkey lamp.
Emily: Pardon me?
Lorelai: It's a lamp with a bunch of monkeys on it.
Emily: Baccarat crystal candlesticks for a monkey lamp?
Lorelai: They're really, really happy monkeys, Mom.
Emily: Where is this lamp? I want to see it.
Lorelai: It's right there on the desk.
Emily: Oh, my God! They're holding coconuts and leering.
Lorelai: It's funny.
Emily: You traded my lovely gift for a semi-pornographic, leering monkey lamp? How could you? This is not just about the bad greeting of returning a gift. This goes to the very heart of the question of taste. You were given something of substance, and you cast it off for a ridiculous, slightly sinister barroom decoration? Explain this to me, Lorelai.
Lorelai: My back hurts.
Quote from Emily
Emily: You do not go running out the door when a boy honks.
Lorelai: Mom, it's fine.
Emily: It certainly is not fine. This is not a drive-through. She's not fried chicken.
Rory: But I told him to honk and I'd meet him out there. We agreed.
Emily: I don't care what you told him. If he wants to take you out, he will walk up to this door and knock, and say, "Good evening", and come inside for a moment like any civilized human being would know to do.
Lorelai: Now, Mom, this is silly. I have met him already.
Emily: Well, I haven't.
Lorelai: Yeah, but-
Emily: We will wait until he comes to the door.
Rory: He doesn't know he's supposed to.
Emily: He will figure it out. [car honks] [silence] [car honks] He's not a very bright boy, is he?
Lorelai: Mom, please. [doorbell rings]
Emily: Don't rush. A lady never rushes.
Quote from Afterboom
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."
Quote from Let the Games Begin
Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.