Lorelai Quote #4

Quote from Lorelai in Pilot

Drella: No, don't move. Just ignore the tiny woman pushing the 200-pound instrument around. This is good. I like this. Maybe after this I'll bench-press a piano. That's it, lady. Tie your shoe now. Don't worry. I'll wait.
Lorelai: Hi, Drella. Hi. I was just wondering, could you be nicer to the guests?
Drella: [stammers] I'm sorry. Did you not want a harp player?
Lorelai: Yes, I did.
Drella: Did you not want a great harp player?
Lorelai: [sighs] Yes, I did.
Drella: I am a great harp player. And this is my great harp, okay? So if you just want someone to be nice to the guests get a harmonica player. Maybe some guy who whistles through his nose. Okay? Capisce? And that is a great spot for a table. The decorator's a genius.

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‘Pilot’ Quotes

Quote from Rory

Dean: I'm Dean.
Rory: Hi. Oh. Rory. Me. That's me.
Dean: Rory.
Rory: Well, Lorelai, technically.
Dean: Lorelai. I like that.
Rory: It's my mother's name, too. She named me after herself. She was lying in the hospital thinking about how men name boys after themselves all the time, you know, so why couldn't women? She says her feminism just kind of took over. Personally, I think a lot of Demerol also went into that decision. I never talk this much.

Quote from Michel

Lorelai: [phone rings] Michel, the phone.
Michel: Mm-hmm. It rings.
Lorelai: Can you answer it?
Michel: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them.
Lorelai: You know who's really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency.
Michel: [answers phone] Independence Inn, Michel speaking. No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked.

Quote from Richard

Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz?
Richard: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.
Lorelai: Well, at least you have your new slogan.

Lorelai Quotes

Quote from Let the Games Begin

Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.

Quote from Richard in Stars Hollow

Lorelai: How about a triple feature? Three Days of the Condor, The Show, and The Jerk.
Rory: Hmm. The Show is, like, 9.5 hours.
Lorelai: But The Jerk is short.
Rory: Hmm.
Lorelai: The three faces of Costner: Bull Durham, Dances with Wolves, The Postman. Tom Petty playing Tom Petty, that great big speech about: "Once upon a time, there was a thing called mail. It'll make you laugh, cry, or mail something."
Rory: Ooh, we could do a Ruth Gordon film festival. Harold and Maude, Rosemary's Baby, and that really great episode of Taxi.
Lorelai: Got it. The worst film festival ever: Cool as Ice, Hudson Hawk, and Electric Boogaloo.
Rory: Sold.
Lorelai: I'll get the Hawk.
Rory: I'll get the Boogaloo.

Quote from The Road Trip to Harvard

Emily: You know what? I'm not returning the gift. I'm going to put it away in a closet and you won't know what it is until you do get married someday.
Lorelai: Tell me now.
Emily: Sorry.
Lorelai: Come on, I may never get married. I may be a free spirit my whole life or I'll fall in love with a separated Catholic guy like Katharine Hepburn did and then not get to go to his funeral when he dies.