Man: [speaks French]
Michel: No, sorry.
Man: [speaks French]
Michel: Sir, I'm a simple country boy from Texas. I do not understand this Francais business you're babbling about.
Lorelai: Pardon. He knows you are not from Texas.
Michel: Smile when you say that.
Lorelai: Michel, I told you there would be a French group here for a couple days and it's your job to keep them happy.
Michel: Lorelai, I don't know how many French people you've met over the years, but most of them are insufferable.
Lorelai: Really?
Michel: That is why I left France.
Lorelai: Huh. I thought it had something to do with the torches and the villagers. Michel, talk to them.
Michel: Never. You are giving me that look, aren't you? Your patented "do it or something unspeakable shall befall you" look. [sighs] Fine. I shall be French, but I shall not be happy.

Emily: [on the phone] You are impossible to reach.
Lorelai: Well, there's no messages on the machine, Mom.
Emily: I don't leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I'd talk to my VCR.

Lorelai: I really like him, Rory. I can't help it. It's been a long time since I've felt like this. You can't always control who you're attracted to. I feel like the whole Angelina Jolie-Billy Bob Thornton thing really proves that.