Lorelai: This is my car.
Emily: We can't go in this. We have to take the other car.
Lorelai: What other car? No, Mom, that's not a car. That's a rap-video set.
Emily: I ordered it specially. It has the darkest windows available. They say it's the car Jay-Z uses when he's in town. I assume that's an entertainer of some sort. The windows are bulletproof. They kept saying that as if it's a selling point. I told them I was not paying extra for bulletproof windows. I haven't been strafed in years.

Rory: While I think it's very generous of both of you to want to do this for me-
Emily: The Rory Gilmore observatory.
Rory: I still go to Yale, so having something with my name on it might be kind of-
Richard: The Rory Gilmore center for international affairs.
Emily: Oh, wait, the Rory Gilmore library.
Richard: And art gallery.
Emily: And ancient-history museum.
Lorelai: Forget it, kid, Grandma and Grandpa have gone bye-bye.
Richard: The Rory Gilmore medical research laboratory.
Emily: No that sounds like monkey testing. People will picket!

Michel: [on the phone] This is a lawsuit. You do not fool with people's heads and bodies like this. No, you listen! You-
Lorelai: Sookie, emergency. I'm crashing.
Sookie: Fresh pot over there.
Michel: You know you wouldn't treat Nicole Kidman like this. Nicole Kidman. Red hair, tall. Okay, then, Julia Roberts. You wouldn't treat Julia Roberts like this. Red hair, tall. Okay, then, Scarlett Johansson. What are you, a shut-in?
Lorelai: Why is he prancing?
Michel: I will call my lawyer, and you'll hear from him when I do. Kiss my tush! [hangs up] Mmm. Damn it! You can trust nothing and no one ever.