Lorelai: Is that our website?
Michel: It is.
Lorelai: What happened to it?
Michel: I made some modifications.
Lorelai: It's just a big picture of you.
Michel: Well, I figured since I'm the one who put the website together and I'm the one continuously updating the website, then I should be featured prominently on the website.
Lorelai: Featured? Sure. But where's the inn? All I see is your face.
Michel: Aha! But if you want to hear about the inn, you click on my mouth. See? And if you want pictures of the inn, you click on my eyes. And if you want to post something about the inn, you click on my ears. Clever, no?
Lorelai: You want to argue about this now or later?
Michel: Eh, later. I'm having too much fun.

Rory: [on the phone] He's out of the I.C.U., so I guess that's a good thing. They said he's in serious but stable condition, but they won't tell me anything else because I'm not family.
Paris: Is he breathing on his own?
Rory: Yeah. I mean, I think so.
Paris: Well, what's his pallor? Is he peaked? Was there internal bleeding?
Rory: I have no idea. I quickly scribbled down some things off his chart. You're pre-med, can I read it to you? Maybe you can make some sense of it.
Paris: Forget it. I don't know how to read charts yet. I can tell you everything you want to know about the difference between recessive and dominant eye-color genes in fruit flies, but God forbid I learn how to read a chart before I'm a fourth-year surgical resident.

Rory: [on the phone] Paris.
Paris: Larry Summers is right, Rory. Our university system is crumbling, did you know that?
Rory: Paris.
Paris: I just found out my microbiology final is an open-book exam. Can you believe that? I mean, why have us take the test at all? Why not just have our professors take it for us? Or better yet, they can just hand us our diplomas the moment we step on campus freshman year, along with some government cheese, a bong, and a t-shirt that says "Hard work is for suckers."