Lorelai Quote #2255
Quote from Lorelai in The Real Paul Anka
Lorelai: [on the phone] So I run out of Doose's, and I'm approaching Luke's apartment - I guess to get help or something - and I'm walking to the door, and I open it, and there's Paul Anka, in front of a microphone, giving a little concert.
Rory: The real Paul Anka.
Lorelai: The dog Paul Anka.
Rory: Couldn't have been happy, you interrupting his show like that.
Lorelai: He didn't notice. So I go down to the diner, and there, lo and behold, is Paul Anka sitting on Babette's lap.
Rory: Please don't tell me it was-
Lorelai: The real Paul Anka.
Babette: Good boy. Who's a good boy?
Rory: This is crazy.
Lorelai: Coming to the end. So the real Paul Anka looks outside, and there, sitting in the middle of the street staring at him is dog Paul Anka.
Rory: Uh-oh.
Lorelai: So real Paul Anka gets up and runs out of Luke's. They're both in the street. Now, real Paul Anka walking toward dog Paul Anka, dog Paul Anka toward real Paul Anka. You can sense that something very bad is about to happen, when suddenly they meet in the middle of the street, and bam! An otherworldly white light engulfs the whole town, and there's a loud explosion and two barks, and everything goes dark.
Rory: And?
Lorelai: And then I woke up.
Gilmore Girls Quotes
‘The Real Paul Anka’ Quotes
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: Mask!
Lorelai: What?
Kirk: Mask. I've done it, Lorelai. I finally landed my first listing.
Lorelai: Where are my parents?
Kirk: This is the beginning of my rise to the top of the real-estate industry.
Lorelai: Where are my parents?
Kirk: Do you happen to be in the market for a house? 'Cause this baby's a honey.
Lorelai: Something in the corner just moved.
Kirk: Just a rat. I'd have told you about them before you bought the place. The law also requires me to inform you that the house has toxic mold, asbestos, methane gas, buckling floors, a crumbling foundation, visible fungus, a collapsed fireplace, ceiling damage, water damage, and it was the recent site of a Wicca convention and a particularly grisly murder/suicide. Nothing we can't work with.
Quote from Kirk
Lorelai: I'm not in the market, Kirk. Now, listen, I know my parents are shopping for houses. Lane saw you with them. And I need to know where they are right now.
Kirk: I'm sorry. That's confidential information. In fact, the fact that I was with them was confidential. So I'm gonna have to ask you to pretend that I haven't already confirmed that I was with them, which I wasn't.
Lorelai: [gasps] God, what was that?
Kirk: Bat. Don't worry. When you spray for cockroaches, the bats die, too, usually. At the very least, it knocks the wind out of them so they wind up wobbling on the floor, so you can just whack them with a hammer. Nothing we can't work with.
Lorelai: Kirk, I am your friend, but they are my parents, and I need to find them right now. It's important.
Kirk: Well, I shouldn't tell you this, but I know they were looking at two properties on Maple Drive. They're probably around there right now. Too bad I couldn't get them interested in this property. It has great bones. Literally. There's an Indian burial ground underneath it.
Lorelai: Thanks. See ya.
Kirk: Don't run. It scares the bat.
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: Sure you don't want to reconsider my offer? I've got a hairnet on me, so I can start immediately.
Luke: Offer declined.