Lorelai Quote #2243
Lorelai: Mom, come on. You were gonna be invited over. I just wanted to make sure everything was done and ready and that I could have you over when I could spend the maximum amount of time showing you around. [whispers to Luke as she opens the door] My parents are here. [Luke turns around and leaves] I was hoping to have a nice little catered affair, you know, with guys in black coats carrying trays. 'Cause I know how much you love guys in black coats carrying trays.
Emily: Who was at the door?
Lorelai: Oh, it was Ed McMahon. He's always showing up with these big cardboard checks. They are impossible to endorse, by the way.
Emily: I am never not sorry that I ask these questions.
Quote from Paris
Paris: I mean, who are we kidding? I am not cut out to deal with people. I was made to be in a lab or an operating room or a bunker somewhere with a well-behaved monkey by my side. I'm sorry, too, you know, for throwing you out.
Rory: Consider it even.
Quote from Paris
Paris: Well, well, if it isn't New Haven's favorite whore hound.
Logan: Is Rory here?
Logan: Can I talk to her?
Paris: No. But you can talk to me. [opens door] What do you wanna talk about? Life? Love? Common symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases?
Paris: Rashes, sores, insanity.
Quote from Afterboom
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."
Quote from Let the Games Begin
Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.