Lorelai: Mom, come on. You were gonna be invited over. I just wanted to make sure everything was done and ready and that I could have you over when I could spend the maximum amount of time showing you around. [whispers to Luke as she opens the door] My parents are here. [Luke turns around and leaves] I was hoping to have a nice little catered affair, you know, with guys in black coats carrying trays. 'Cause I know how much you love guys in black coats carrying trays.
Emily: Who was at the door?
Lorelai: Oh, it was Ed McMahon. He's always showing up with these big cardboard checks. They are impossible to endorse, by the way.
Emily: I am never not sorry that I ask these questions.

Paris: I mean, who are we kidding? I am not cut out to deal with people. I was made to be in a lab or an operating room or a bunker somewhere with a well-behaved monkey by my side. I'm sorry, too, you know, for throwing you out.
Rory: Consider it even.

Luke: You know, I looked up the route last night. Sounds like a great trip. They'll be visiting Constitution Hall and stopping in Gettysburg. Do you know I have never seen the Liberty Bell?
Lorelai: Communist.
Luke: Okay, I'm gonna take these guys outside. Any particular place you want them?
Lorelai: Yeah, someplace shady, sheltered from the elements and ideally near a talking pig.
Luke: I asked. I have no one to blame but myself.