Lorelai: What are you doing, Kirk?
Kirk: Did you just eat a 3 Musketeers?
Lorelai: No.
Kirk: You're sure? You really smell like nougat.
Luke: Stop sniffing my fiancee.
Kirk: I can't help it. My senses are much more finely tuned these days.
Lorelai: What is the scary man talking about?
Luke: He's on a juice fast.
Lorelai: Why?
Kirk: Just wanted to clean out the pipes, refocus the arteries. I want to get the healthy glow of someone who consistently goes to the gym. Without having to go to the gym, of course.

Logan: I see you went with Faye Dunaway in Network.
Rory: And Maureen Dowd "come hither" pumps for good measure.

Paris: Men suck.
Rory: They do suck.
Paris: Can't count on them. They never have your back.
Rory: No, they don't.
Paris: They make you love them, and then they let you down, and you're walking around with a stomachache for the next six months.
Rory: Is that how long it lasts?
Paris: I don't know. I hope it's only six months.