Lorelai: Keep him occupied for a second.
Sookie: Hi, Paul Anka. You want to come have a sleepover at my house, huh? What are you doing?
Lorelai: Uh, he freaks out if he sees his leash. You have to make sure you hide it from him, make sure he doesn't see you putting it on him.
Sookie: How is he once he's on the leash?
Lorelai: Oh, he's totally fine having his personal freedom slowly stripped away as long as he's completely unaware that it's happening. Just like a true American.

Lorelai: Hey. Did I wake you? 'Cause I brushed my teeth in the shower so you wouldn't hear the sink run.
Luke: No, you didn't wake me up.
Lorelai: But then it occurred to me while I was in the shower that you could probably hear the shower run, and that defeated the purpose of the whole shower-toothbrush combo.
Luke: Why are you up so early?
Lorelai: Oh, well, you know me.
Luke: I do, so why are you up so early?
Lorelai: I have chores.
Luke: It's 6:00 in the morning.
Lorelai: Well, it's early morning chores.
Luke: What's early morning chores?
Lorelai: You know, just milking cows, feeding chickens, slopping pigs.
Luke: You have to slop pigs?
Lorelai: Well, they're certainly not gonna slop themselves.

Paris: I can't get anyone to write their names on their cups and use them again. It doesn't seem that hard. Open sharpie, write name.
Rory: Maybe people don't want to reuse a paper cup.
Paris: Well, then, hopefully people who don't want to reuse a paper cup won't mind buying SPF5000 for their grandkids when the rainforest is gone and the ozone layer is a doily and the human race is bursting into flames.
Rory: Maybe we could just tell everyone to bring a mug for their water.
Paris: We could, but they won't bring a mug, just like they won't properly proof their articles or double-check their sources.