Kirk Quote #196
Quote from Kirk in Welcome to the Doll House
Kirk: I'm Phineas, and this is my brother Zebediah. We have come a long way through space and time. We hail from Stars Hollow. I, a silversmith, and he, a simple cobbler.
Andrew: With good rates.
Kirk: I will cobble a... cobbled thing for a ha'penny.
Sookie: Does Kirk know what a cobbler is?
Lorelai: I'm guessing "no."
More Gilmore Girls Quotes
‘Welcome to the Doll House’ Quotes
Quote from Michel
Lorelai: Where is all this stupid stuff coming from?
Michel: Looks like classic Home Shopping Channel merchandise to me.
Lorelai: I have not bought anything off the Home Shopping Channel.
Michel: That you remember.
Lorelai: How could I not remember?
Michel: You could be deluding yourself, suppressing a shameful, costly, and yes, extremely tacky shopping addiction from your memory.
Lorelai: I do not have a Home Shopping Channel addiction. This does look familiar, like I've seen it before.
Michel: Mmm-hmm. And was Joan Rivers or Suzanne Somers holding it up?
Lorelai: I'm not buying these things.
Michel: You keep telling yourself that.
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: Well, you can choose any of three historically anchored street names that pre-dated Sores and Boils Alley. It's a generous proposal.
Lorelai: Let's hear them.
Kirk: The first one is Constabulary Road.
Lorelai: Constabulary Road.
Kirk: It's a very nice name. Classic. Very evocative of old-time Stars Hollow.
Lorelai: Yes, it's very nice, but Kirk, that's the exact name of Esther Wilkins' Street. I mean, the exact name. It's taken.
Kirk: I know. Apparently, at one time, there were several streets named Constabulary Road in Stars Hollow.
Lorelai: Yeah, that would be incredibly confusing.
Kirk: Oh, it would be a disaster. It was back then, too. Mail was mis-delivered. Soldiers lost their way. It completely disoriented senior citizens. There was rioting, chaos, death. Everyone hated it.
Kirk Gleason Quotes
Quote from Blame Booze and Melville
Kirk: Sally Forth is on fire today. On fire!
Luke: Where did you get a quarter of a million dollars!
Kirk: What? I don't have a quarter of a million dollars.
Luke: You don't?
Kirk: No. Just shy. It's $247,868. Sixty-seven, if I get a couple of donuts to go. Those chocolate raised are calling my name.
Luke: Where the hell did you get that much money?
Kirk: I've been working for eleven years, Luke. I've had fifteen thousand jobs. I've saved every dollar I've ever made. That and the miracle of compound interest has created a bounty of a quarter of a million dollars. Again, just under. I don't want to brag.
Quote from Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too
Kirk: I took it upon myself to poll the town, and I think you're gonna be pretty happy with the results.
Sookie: We are?
Kirk: Jackson is solidly in the lead.
Lorelai: We just started bugging people.
Kirk: Well, I modeled my poll after the Gallup poll. The Gallup poll uses a sample of 1,005 voters to represent the 280 million people of the United States. Using that logic, the correct sampling size of the town of Stars Hollow would be 0.002. Rounding that up means one person needs to be polled, so I picked me.
Lorelai: You polled yourself?
Kirk: I was right there. Seemed like a perfect opportunity.