TV Quotes

Lorelai: Where is all this stupid stuff coming from?
Michel: Looks like classic Home Shopping Channel merchandise to me.
Lorelai: I have not bought anything off the Home Shopping Channel.
Michel: That you remember.
Lorelai: How could I not remember?
Michel: You could be deluding yourself, suppressing a shameful, costly, and yes, extremely tacky shopping addiction from your memory.
Lorelai: I do not have a Home Shopping Channel addiction. This does look familiar, like I've seen it before.
Michel: Mmm-hmm. And was Joan Rivers or Suzanne Somers holding it up?
Lorelai: I'm not buying these things.
Michel: You keep telling yourself that.

Kirk: Well, you can choose any of three historically anchored street names that pre-dated Sores and Boils Alley. It's a generous proposal.
Lorelai: Let's hear them.
Kirk: The first one is Constabulary Road.
Lorelai: Constabulary Road.
Kirk: It's a very nice name. Classic. Very evocative of old-time Stars Hollow.
Lorelai: Yes, it's very nice, but Kirk, that's the exact name of Esther Wilkins' Street. I mean, the exact name. It's taken.
Kirk: I know. Apparently, at one time, there were several streets named Constabulary Road in Stars Hollow.
Lorelai: Yeah, that would be incredibly confusing.
Kirk: Oh, it would be a disaster. It was back then, too. Mail was mis-delivered. Soldiers lost their way. It completely disoriented senior citizens. There was rioting, chaos, death. Everyone hated it.

Babette: [on the phone] What's the news with your dad?
Lorelai: Well, he's in surgery right now, but we think he's gonna be okay.
Babette: Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Don't you worry about a thing. He's a very vital man, your dad. Lots of chi, you know?
Lorelai: Oh really? I didn't know you noticed his chi.
Babette: Are you kidding me? Prana, chi, life force... whatever you call it, your daddy's got it in spades. Sexy men like him often do. That's what makes them so sexy. They're ripe with life.
Lorelai: O-kay.
Babette: He's gonna be fine.
Lorelai: Thanks, Babette.
Babette: He's like Warren Beatty, your dad, or Sean Connery, or... who's that one I always found so sexy? The evil politician with the glasses... Henry Kissinger!
Lorelai: Oh, yeah, I know him.
Babette: You might not agree with his politics. You might have lived through Vietnam and thought, "Wow, that man is the devil," but you can't deny he's sexy. You know why? Chi.

Babette: You're back!
Lorelai: [screams] Oh! God, Babette, you scared me.
Babette: Yeah, it's my voice. It frightens the hell out of people. I don't know what to do about it.
Lorelai: Well, you could start by not hiding in people's houses and leaping at them when they come home.
Babette: It's the nodules.
Lorelai: Who?
Babette: It's the nodules on my vocal chords. The more I strain my voice, the more they grow. It's nature's way of trying to get me to talk softer.
Lorelai: Babette, one. Nature, nada.