Lorelai: I mean, this is a well-read community. We might be the dumbest people in town.
Christopher: Yeah, we could be the town dunces. We'll buy caps.
Lorelai: We'll put "The Dunces" on our mailbox.

Lorelai: What about instead of La Bohme, we took our inspiration from Rent -- East Village, 1985, rickety tables, chipped glassware.
Emily: Lorelai.

Lorelai: [on the phone] The stairs are rickety, and you think you might fall down them?
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: The pool is empty, and you've hit your head?
Rory: Goodbye.
Lorelai: Okay, bye.

Lorelai: Two hours we spent picking out invitations. Two hours.
Christopher: Wow.
Lorelai: Not counting the one hour we spent picking out the calligraphy for a party.
Christopher: This is gonna be some shindig.
Lorelai: "Would you like the brown card with the cream-colored detail and the parchment insert, or would you like the cream-colored card with the silk lining and the clear paper insert?" How about I'd like some cyanide and a 30-story building to jump off of?

Christopher: No, we said one sugar cereal.
Lorelai: You're gonna deny me the Captain?
Christopher: We've got a whole box of Froot Loops at home.
Lorelai: With my fragile state,you're gonna deny me peanut butter Cap'n Crunch?
Christopher: It rips your gums.
Lorelai: In a delightful, sugary way. Look, it's got 5% real peanut-butter-flavored chemicals.
Christopher: No.
Lorelai: Oh, fine. Corn flakes.
Christopher: Which one do we get again?
Lorelai: Avoid the words "made with real vegetables."

Emily: It's not about the party. I've come to talk to you about your marriage.
Lorelai: My marriage?
Emily: Yes, I'm concerned. I don't like what I'm seeing, and I've come to offer you some friendly advice.
Lorelai: Mom, I really don't want your advice.
Emily: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.
Lorelai: Okay.
Emily: Christopher is immature, often foolish, and a little lacking in common sense. He doesn't always make the best choices.
Lorelai: Like with me? Are you saying he chose wrongly in choosing me?
Emily: I'm saying he's your husband, Lorelai, for better or for worse. I like Christopher.
Lorelai: Okay.
Emily: I think he's good for you. But it's not going to be perfect. He's not perfect, and God knows you're not perfect. But marriage is not about always being happy, and often it's about not being happy at all. It's about compromise, which is not your strong suite. Marriage is about swallowing your pride sometimes, about doing what he wants. It's not about winning an argument, which may make you sad, because that's what you love. But I don't want to see you ruin this. Marriage is serious business, Lorelai, and if you don't take this very seriously, then this whole thing could fall apart faster than you could possibly imagine. And he'll be gone, and you'll be alone again. A ring is no guarantee. Sorry for scaring you.