Lorelai: What's going on?
Luke: Okay, here's the deal. I borrowed Kirk's computer, and Zach got me on this craigslist thing, and I found a 1999 Jeep Wrangler for sale. The guy actually doesn't live too far from here, so I went to see it. It looks like it's in pretty good shape. So I ran the VIN number. It's got a clean history, no accidents, no failed emissions. And the guy said he kept it up pretty good, and there's nothing really wrong with it. So I took it for a test drive, and it drove fine. So if you want to keep your old car, for whatever crazy feeling it gives you, okay? Then buy this guy's car, send it to Gypsy. She'll take the engine out, put it in the old car, which makes absolutely no sense because you'd basically be paying the same amount of money to fix your old car as you would be paying to get into a new one.
Lorelai: But I'd still have my car.
Luke: Yeah, Gypsy said it'll take about two weeks to finish. Here's the number of the guy, Larry. That's his name. I already negotiated him down 1,500 bucks. Tell him you're Lorelai, Luke's friend. He'll know.
Lorelai: Thanks, I will.
Luke: It's still a completely ridiculous idea.
Lorelai: I know.

Luke: And, you know, in the meantime, if you're still riding that bike around, come by the diner. I'll put some air in your tires.
Lorelai: I don't need air in my tires.
Luke: Yeah, you need air, and you need a light and a bell so people know you're coming.
Lorelai: What if I don't want people to know I'm coming?
Luke: I'm putting on a bell!
Lorelai: No, you're not!
Luke: What do you have against bells?
Lorelai: I don't like 'em.
Luke: Well, you don't have to like them. They're a safety feature.
Lorelai: I want a horn!
Luke: Fine you want a horn, I'll get you a horn. Are you happy? Jeez.

Rory: The coffee smells good.
Lorelai: Hello, old friend.
Luke: How is it?
Lorelai: Mmm. Your first pot is always your best.
Luke: Good.
Rory: Thanks for opening up the place.
Luke: I got to take care of my best customers.

Lorelai: I have officially changed my order. I'll have the Luke's-giving-Lorelai-a-migraine meal.
Luke: Blue cheese or ranch?
Lorelai: Both.
Luke: Coming right up.

Jess: Could we talk about this later?
Luke: Why, you got a big Frisbee heist going down at 6:00? Jess, Mr. Merton said if you don't start doing better they're not gonna let you be a senior.
Jess: Bummer.
Luke: They'll hold you back.
Jess: Well, at least I'll know where my classes are.
Luke: Jess, this is serious. You're flunking out! You're looking at being in the 11th grade for the rest of your life! You'll be the kid in the back of the room with a beard and a racing form babbling incoherently about Steely Dan.
Jess: Steely Dan?
Luke: The group may change. The freak in the back never does.

Luke: I know I was a jerk. I was just mad.
Lorelai: I was the jerk. I was such a jerk.
Luke: I'm not mad anymore. Well... That's not true, but I won't be, you know, eventually. Really.
Lorelai: Yeah?
Luke: Yeah.
Lorelai: Okay.
Luke: It's not your fault. It's not my fault. It's just, we're not right together, you know? You're you, I'm me. I just want to stop pretending we're something else. I mean, you don't belong with me. You belong with someone like Christopher, and I just... Let's just stop fighting it, okay? And you go back to being Lorelai Gilmore. And I'll go back to being the guy in the diner who pours your coffee.
Lorelai: My hand's getting cold.
Luke: Okay.
Lorelai: Okay.

Luke: Like last week, I discovered the secret of parenting.
Lorelai: You did? The secret of parenting?
Luke: The secret of parenting.
Lorelai: When last week? Last Tuesday?
Luke: I don't know the exact day.
Lorelai: Tuesday at 5:15? Is that when you discovered the secret of parenting?
Luke: Don't mock.
Lorelai: Well, tell me. What is- Oh, wait. It's a secret. You can't tell me.
Luke: No, I'll tell you. You visualize the reality you want.
Lorelai: Visualize the reality you want.
Luke: And then if necessary, you lie to bring it about.
Lorelai: That is so much worse than I was expecting.

Lorelai: You gestured?
Luke: Those jeans are really working for you.
Lorelai: Yeah?
Luke: They're working for me, too.
Lorelai: You're flirting with me.
Luke: Something like that.
Lorelai: Finally. Do it some more.
Luke: Your shoes work well with that shirt.
Lorelai: Gee, Carson, thanks.
Luke: That's all I can do right now. People are watching.
Lorelai: Okay.
Luke: But tonight I will give you my extremely positive views on other aspects of your being.