Rory: Hello.
Lorelai: Did you bring the Nutter Butters?
Rory: Well, I'm fine, Mother. I missed you, too.
Lorelai: Ah, we have achieved culinary perfection.
Rory: What's with the carrots?
Lorelai: I was afraid you weren't eating right at school.
Rory: Ah.
Lorelai: Marshmallow?
Rory: Thank you.
Rory: Oh, man, I've missed Al's Chinese night.
Lorelai: Oh, he's got a new thing now. Chicken chow mein sandwich.
Rory: Oh, Al.
Lorelai: Oh, Al.

Luke: Hey, neighbor, the guys next door just ran out of crack to sell, so they sent me over to borrow a cup. Hey, nice place. You put those holes there yourself?
Jess: What are you doing here?
Luke: Just wanted to see how you were doing.
Jess: Doing great.
Luke: Great, you're doing great. Wow, you're doing great. I'm not doing great, and I have running water.
Jess: The place is fine.
Luke: Fine. Not great? What happened to great?
Jess: All this and no housewarming gift.
Luke: Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I just thought you were going absolutely nowhere with your life.

Luke: You are gonna regret this.
Jess: I doubt it.
Luke: No, you are. If you ever manage to grow up and get yourself together and drop this selfish self-destructive behavior that you are so fond of, if that ever happens, you are gonna look back on this moment and you are gonna feel like a big steaming mound of crap that you missed this. This could have been a turning point. You could have witnessed something good for your mother who, yes, has screwed up a bit in her life but now seems to have found something to make her happy, and you miss that, you refuse to be a part of that, you are gonna be very sorry. [Jess's cellphone beeps] What, are you a drug dealer now?
Jess: I'm a messenger. I gotta go. Hey, Todd, it's 4:00.
Luke: You owe me. I was there for you when no one else was, and I want you there and you owe me.
Jess: I gotta go.
Luke: So do I. I'm going first.

Jess: Is that your dinner?
Luke: Couldn't book my usual table at Le Cirque.
Jess: Right. I wasn't sure what food I could eat.
Luke: Eat what you like. Start with the expired stuff.
Jess: Maybe I'll go out.
Luke: I'm hearing a good buzz about a chow mein sandwich.

Rory: Paris.
Paris: Asher asked for a moistened towel 20 minutes ago, and no one's brought him a moistened towel. This man is an award-winning novelist, a sought-after lecturer. He deserves a moistened towel! Give me a towel! I'll moisten the damn thing myself!
Rory: Paris, come on. Fill me in here.
Paris: Stat! Stat! Do you not know what "stat" means? They say it on all the hospital shows.

Paris: The wobbly, the look on his face, the angina... he's old.
Rory: What?
Paris: Asher. He has pains, he wobbles. I spotted him through the curtain when the doctor came out, and he was just lying on that bed all alone, and he had his eyes open and was just staring at the ceiling. He looked so close to death.
Rory: He's not that close.
Paris: He's closer than me.
Rory: An anvil could hit you on the head tomorrow, and he could live another 40 years.
Paris: I'm 19.I should be rollicking. Asher doesn't rollick.
Rory: Well he probably didn't rollick when he was younger either. He's British.
Paris: You should have seen the way he was staring at the ceiling, like he was looking at God.
Rory: He wasn't looking at God.
Paris: You've probably been laughing at me all these months.
Rory: Paris, no, I haven't.
Paris: I'm in a hospital. I should be at a discotheque. Are kids still into the discotheque?
Rory: Paris, come on. Let's go get you something to drink. Let the hospital do their work.
Paris: He orders old gelato.
Rory: Old gelato?
Paris: Vanilla. It's a very old flavor.

Luke: Where have you been?
Jess: Bathroom. It's best to use it before the puking starts.
Luke: You left me hanging with the Lords of Flatbush here.
Jess: Sorry.

Luke: Hmm. Tonight I got into a fight at a strip club with my nephew. A fight. I haven't been in a fight since sixth grade. Vince Williams called me a doodyhead. I took it very personally. But you know what? Tonight was good. Tonight something happened to me. I achieved this great sense of calm. No more anger, no more frustration. Live and let live. You are who you are. I cannot change that, and I'm gonna stop trying. I wish I'd felt this earlier. Then I wouldn't have dragged you down here. I apologize for that. But, I mean, if you really hate your mother that much, then you shouldn't be here, you shouldn't walk her down the aisle, and you shouldn't go to her wedding.
Jess: I don't hate my mother.
Luke: You don't? Well, then, I don't get it. Why weren't you coming, because of me? You hate me that much?
Jess: I don't hate you. I came here because of you.
Luke: Stop that.
Jess: You said it was important to you. Remember?
Luke: I remember. I didn't think you were listening.
Jess: I was listening.

Jess: I told her I loved her.
Luke: Wow. What did she say?
Jess: Nothing.
Luke: What, you just said it and walked away?
Jess: No. I got in my car and left.
Luke: You just dropped the bomb and ran?
Jess: I drove.
Luke: You didn't want stick around to see what she said?
Jess: No. And obviously, she had nothing to say.
Luke: How do you know?
Jess: She could have contacted me anytime in the last three months, but she didn't.
Luke: What are you talking about? You change your phone number weekly.
Jess: The ball was in her court.