Babette: [both whisper] "My Funny Valentine", it doesn't work, it's April already. What about "Down with Love" to open?
Miss Patty: It's too depressing.
Babette: It's not depressing, it's ironic.
Miss Patty: People don't listen to music for irony.
Babette: What about 'Weird Al'-
Miss Patty: Weird who?

Miss Patty: So what do you think Lorelai, to open with the show. Streisand or Porter?
Lorelai: You can not go wrong with either one.

Lorelai: Oh, you preparing for the big boat trip, huh?
Luke: Yep.
Lorelai: Wow you want me just to talk in nautical terms till you go?
Luke: No.
Lorelai: Aye, aye captain.
Luke: Please don't.
Lorelai: Shiver me timbers.
Luke: Are you done?
Lorelai: All hands on deck. Now, I'm done.

Paris: We tried to get a corpse cake, but we couldn't find a bakery that would make us one, so we had to settle for a naked-guy cake from an erotic bakery in Hartford.
Rory: Yes, it's a little early for cake for me.
Paris: It actually tastes pretty good once you get past the whole pornographic dessert issue. Sure I can't interest you in a fibula?
Rory: No, thanks.

Paris: Taste.
Lorelai: Oh, it's a meatball.
Paris: So good.
Lorelai: It's 9:00 a.m.
Sookie: Look, it's amazing. I completely forgot how pregnancy scrambles my taste buds. I swear, it doesn't even taste like a meatball.
Lorelai: Does it taste like a Danish?
Sookie: Well, okay, then, for lunch.

Rory: I'm gonna stop by Lane's. Then I have to get back to school and start studying for my next final. This time, I intend on turning in all my blue books.
Lorelai: That's too bad. I had a whole second day of pick-me-up plans, including a clown and some pony rides and absolutely no drinking at all.
Rory: Well, then you shouldn't have devised such an effective first-day pick-me-up plan.
Lorelai: Well, live and learn.