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‘Last Week Fights, This Week Tights’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Gilmore Girls: Last Week Fights, This Week Tights

421. Last Week Fights, This Week Tights

Aired May 11, 2004

Rory must seem particularly lonely as everyone keeps pestering her about her love life. Meanwhile, Luke's sister Liz and her boyfriend T.J. are set for their Renaissance wedding in Stars Hollow.

Quote from Lorelai

Rory: What is going on here?
Lorelai: What are you talking about? I'm trying to get her to fess up to the separation.
Rory: Not you. Me! Am I cloaked in loneliness or something? Everybody has been pestering me about my love life this week.
Lorelai: That was not about you. It was about evading my questions. It's a classic Sun Tzu Art of War maneuver. If you're being attacked from the east, attack whoever's to your west, and you were the west. I never read the book. It's full of crap like that.


Quote from Lorelai

Kirk: I don't call that a "maypole." I'd call that a "maybe-not pole."
Lorelai: What's with him?
Miss Patty: He's mad because I made Chrissy my dance captain over him.
Lorelai: Kirk has forty-three jobs.

Quote from Rory

Rory: It's only hitting me now. My classes are done. Done. I don't have to think about Chaucer or Euclid or Kafka or Machiavelli for months. I can just think about Jane magazine and why did Uma wear that dress. Fun stuff like that.
Dean: You'll still think about Kafka and probably Chaucer.
Rory: Probably. But those other two bozos are history. You hear me? History!

Quote from Miss Patty

Lorelai: Tough day, Patty?
Miss Patty: I've worked with Joan Crawford. This is worse.

Quote from Rory

Rory: Well, stop attacking her so she'll stop attacking me.
Lorelai: Well, you butted into my line of inquiry with your, "He's in Philadelphia" stuff. She was about ready to crack.
Rory: She was not ready to crack. She was ready to say, "He's in Philadelphia."
Lorelai: Did he sound like he was in Philadelphia when he called?
Rory: You mean, did I hear guys in the background saying, "Get your Philly cheesesteak here?"

Quote from Miss Patty

Miss Patty: I got my hands full here.
Lorelai: The Banyan boys?
Miss Patty: Oh! Lucifer tired of them in hell and dumped them here.

Quote from Kirk

Lorelai: Hey, Kirk, maybe you want to ease up on Patty a little.
Lorelai: But the maypole is an expertise of mine. I re-enacted the dwarf's maypole choreography from "The Safety Dance" video, my junior-high talent show. Chicks were falling at my feet. I'm less than impressed, Patty!
Lorelai: Take a break, please. I've seen Miss Patty get violent. It's not pretty. Remember that time?
Kirk: That's when she beat me up.
Lorelai: Yeah. Let's not repeat that.

Quote from Sookie

Lorelai: You two are back big-time.
Sookie: That actually felt good. Like getting a Jack LaLanne workout.
Lorelai: Dead or alive?
Sookie: Jack LaLanne? Dead. No. Alive. Oh, now that's gonna bug me.

Quote from Rory

Lorelai: [on the phone] You know, I do have one thing to run by you. Do you have the brain power?
Rory: I think I can swing it.
Lorelai: It involves the "J" word.
Rory: Oh, not more about Jesus. I'm sick of him and Mel Gibson.

Quote from Lorelai

Mrs. Kim: Hello, Lorelai. What can I do for you? Well, do you still have the big door knockers, metal with the chipped red paint? You're a magician. Do you know that?
Lorelai: Oh, it's great. Isn't it big?
Mrs. Kim: And good price, seeing as how it may have belonged to James Madison. It was commonly known that James Madison liked big knockers.
Lorelai: [chuckles] I bet a lot of the founding fathers liked big knockers. I'm sorry for laughing. I'd explain if I could.
Mrs. Kim: It's a double entendre. I've been in this country 20 years. I get things.
Lorelai: I never doubted.

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