Rory: [on the phone] Do I have to pledge Dad, too?
Lorelai: No, no, he's just a spectator. Although, you know what he's doing? He's going on a man-date with Jackson.
Rory: Cute. A mandated man-date?
Lorelai: Yes, it was suggested enthusiastically.

Christopher: It's a black shirt.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Christopher: Okay, then.
Lorelai: It's very Joaquin Phoenix at the Oscars.
Christopher: I have no clue what that means.

Richard: So, Lorelai couldn't have been more than, what, 8 or 10 years old? But she was very definite about the whole thing. She looked me directly in the eye, and she said, "When I grow up, I'm going to marry Tip O'Neill." [Christopher chuckles] I swear to you, I nearly had a heart attack.
Lorelai: I liked the name "Tip." I thought it was cute, like a puppy or a bunny.
Richard: Anyway, I'm happy that you two got married, and quite relieved not to have had Tip O'Neill as a son-in-law.

Lorelai: Okay, time to open?
Emily: Yes, Lorelai, you may open your present. For heaven's sake, you're like a dolphin at feeding time.
Lorelai: Wow. I mean, d-- I -- it's -- it's like, "Wow."
Emily: It's an etching by Kiki Smith.
Lorelai: No, it's extraordinary, this item.
Christopher: Wow.
Lorelai: Wow, right?

Lorelai: Mom, I'm sorry. I just-
Emily: Why just talk about it? Why not share it?
Lorelai: No, no! Hey, hey!
Lorelai: [on answer machine] Hey, just wanted you guys to know, Christopher and I are back from Paris. G.G.'s all set. And, uh, we just ended up, uh... getting married. So, anyway, see you Friday. Bye!
Emily: Isn't that lovely?
Lorelai: Mom, erase that, please.
Emily: I most certainly will not. Your father and I plan to treasure it forever. We're going to have it as a keepsake or a memento. "Remember when Lorelai told us she was married?"
Richard: "Ah, yes, and what was it exactly that she said?"
Emily: "I think it was something like this."
Lorelai: [on answer machine] Hey, just wanted you guys to know, Christopher and I are back from Paris. G.
G.'s all set. And, uh, we just ended up, uh... getting married. So, anyway...

Lorelai: Good morning.
Christopher: Well, good morning, Madame Defarge.
Lorelai: Good morning, Mr. "I remember stuff from English class in high school."
Christopher: Can I ask how long this Mr. "Long sentence of words strung together" thing is gonna last?
Lorelai: I'm not sure, Mr. "Doesn't understand the more annoying you tell me a bit is, the more I want to do it."

Lorelai: Yeah. We were in Paris, and we eloped.
Babette: That's smart, eloping. Smart. Who needs the hassle of a real wedding, you know
Lorelai: Yeah.
Babette: Yeah. All the planning and the fuss, so much stress.
Christopher: Exactly.
Babette: Plus the dress. I mean, why would anyone want to buy a big, expensive wedding dress you could only wear once? Except for me. I got to wear mine twice. But once was for Halloween. I was the bride of Chucky.
Christopher: Oh, yeah? Did Morey go as Chucky?
Babette: Huh?! No, he was a futuristic pirate. So, welcome to Stars Hollow.

Sookie: Drat you, you dratted spaghetti, you slippery, slithery, uncooperative-
Lorelai: Am I interrupting something?
Sookie: No.
Lorelai: Seriously, if you and spaghetti need privacy, I can come back later.
Sookie: In the middle of the night last night, I woke up with an idea.
Lorelai: Yeah?
Sookie: For days, I've been trying to figure out what to serve at my knitathon booth, right? So, it's 2:00 a.m. Flash, I have a vision. Balls of yarn made out of spaghetti, with bread sticks stuck in the middle, like knitting needles. It's brilliant. Brilliant. Horrible!
Lorelai: Not that appetizing. Why don't you just make regular spaghetti?
Sookie: 'Cause that's not theme-y.

Lorelai: What do we do?
Sookie: We need a campaign.
Lorelai: Right. A campaign.
Sookie: Oh, he could walk Paul Anka around town. Cute guy, cute dog... very appealing.
Lorelai: Paul Anka's not good with sidewalks, sensitive paws. He could pull him in the welcome wagon. Or Jackson.
Sookie: You want him to pull Jackson around on a wagon?

Lorelai: What do regular guys do?
Sookie: Grunt?
Lorelai: Scratch?
Sookie: Leave the toilet seat up?
Lorelai: Talk about sports?
Sookie: Talk about cars?
Lorelai: Burp?
Sookie: [gasps] Beer!
Lorelai: Drink beer.