Lorelai: Your shoes okay? You got good traction?
Rory: Traction?
Lorelai: Well, there'll be liquids of various textures and disgustingness. You eating there?
Rory: Oh, if they have stuff.
Lorelai: Do not eat chips out of a communal bowl. You might as well stick your hand in a toilet.
Rory: Nice.
Lorelai: If you're desperate, offer to be the person who replenishes them with new bags and grab a handful out of the new bag and dump the rest in the communal bowl.
Rory: Got it.
Lorelai: And keep in mind that getting up on a table and performing a song of any kind will haunt you for the rest of your life. Trust me. Been there, done that.
Rory: I wasn't planning on doing that.
Lorelai: Hmm. Those things are never planned.

Lorelai: Michel, are you okay?
Michel: Do I look okay?
Lorelai: Are those people waiting for a bellman?
Michel: No, they're waiting for a unicorn to sing to a rainbow. Yes, a bellman. But there's only one because we had to lay off the others. And a maid called in sick, so not only am I dealing with answering phones and checking people in and out, but I'm going to have to do turn down service and carry people's bags to their rooms and...
Lorelai: You're going to a bad place. Now just take a breath and go to a good place.
Michel: Plus, I had to run home and play with my Chow puppies because the Chow book said they need love and stimulation or else they'll murder you later on. And Pau-Pau had fallen in her water bowl and was soaking wet so I had to blow dry her and...
Lorelai: Okay, the nice place, and I can stay and help a little bit, okay?
Michel: She could've drowned. I'm a bad daddy.
Lorelai: Pau-Pau's fine. Just watch the desk, get the bellman back here. I'll do turn down.
Michel: [to a customer] Have you ever seen Chow puppies? You want to eat them up.

Lorelai: Do you want an aspirin? I probably have a... Tic Tac. Sorry, I shouldn't have teased you with that aspirin thing.

Lorelai: Oh, I know! How about... no.
Rory: No, no, you can't keep doing that. You can't just start a thought and then say no. Finish them or don't start them at all.
Lorelai: You're very totalitarian today.
Rory: No, it just drives me crazy. It's like if you do "shave and a haircut" without the last part, you know?
Lorelai: Come on, do it.
Rory: Will you stop giving me half-finished thoughts?
Lorelai: I promise. Come on, do it.
Rory: Two bits.
Lorelai: Thank you.

Rory: When did we become so old and pathetic?
Lorelai: Hey, hey, we're neither. We're momentarily stuck on what to do tonight.
Rory: It's a Friday night. We should be out, I don't know, partying with the homies.
Lorelai: Our Stars Hollow homies are all in bed by now.
Rory: Not Kirk. He'll be playing video trivia at the pizza place. We could go and watch.

Richard: [on the phone] Sort of a last minute thing. Couldn't get too big a crowd here. I think we wound up with 55 or 60, something like that.
Rory: [to Lorelai] 60 people.
Richard: Oh, here come the mushroom caps everybody!
Rory: There's singing and mushroom caps.
Lorelai: I am appalled by this.
Rory: Sounds like a lot of fun.
Richard: Oh, it is. Oh, now, your grandmother would come and say hello, but she's in the next room dancing with Lloyd Sandstone. Watch where you put those hands, Lloyd.
Rory: A guy named Lloyd is feeling up Grandma.
Lorelai: You're making this up.

Rory: The Gilmore house is partying like it's 1999.
Lorelai: And here it's at home with The 700 Club.
Rory: Well, we didn't tell them to stop living their lives.
Lorelai: How could they bounce back so quickly?
Rory: I don't know, but bounce they did.
Lorelai: Okay, they win this time. But we've gotta think of something super big and fantastic and cool for next Friday night, okay? Okay.
Rory: Okay.
Lorelai: Now think.
Rory: [sighs] Mushroom caps sound really good.
Lorelai: Ssh.
Rory: Sorry.

Lorelai: Hi. Say cheese. I love my little digital camera. I wanna marry it.
Rory: Do you ever wanna put it away?
Lorelai: Oh, you'll hurt little DigitalDan's feelings.
Rory: Sorry, D.D.
Lorelai: Gotcha! Oh, no, wait. Oh, missed. Got a good one of you, though. Nice cheekbones.

Rory: I was asked to pass this along to you.
Lorelai: Something from Chilton? You've been dipping girls' hair in the inkwells again?

Luke: Was that necessary?
Lorelai: Oh man, you do not photograph well.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: You've been getting some sleep, brother? 'Cause that's forty miles bad running.
Luke: I wasn't ready. Plus, it was a bad angle. Plus, this is a harsh light. A soft light would help with the thing with the eyes.
Lorelai: Look who knows what light he looks best in.