Jess: What's going on with you?
Rory: What do you mean?
Jess: You know what I mean. I know you better than anyone. This isn't you.
Rory: I don't know.
Jess: What are you doing? Living at your grandparents' place, being in the DAR, no Yale. Why did you drop out of Yale?!
Rory: It's complicated.
Jess: It's not! It's not complicated.
Rory: You don't know.
Jess: This isn't you. This. You going out with this jerk with the Porsche. We made fun of guys like this.
Rory: You caught him on a bad night.
Jess: This isn't about him. Okay, screw him. What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on?
Rory: I don't know. I don't know.
Jess: Hey, uh... May-may-maybe we'll catch up at a better time. Happy birthday, by the way. Wasn't that a couple weeks ago, your birthday?

Jess: So you want the tour?
Luke: Give me a tour.
Jess: All right, well, this is where we work, Truncheon Books. There's usually desks and crap piled up everywhere, but we cleaned up for today. Those are the books that we put out. We publish our zine once a month, except last August, when my partner forgot to pay the printer. We let local artists hang their stuff up without ripping them off on commissions. We do performances over there, and a few of us live upstairs. That you don't want to see. It's a disaster zone.
Luke: This is yours, right?
Jess: Yeah.
Luke: I wanted to get it, but I couldn't find it.
Jess: Yeah, it's not exactly The Da Vinci Code.

Jess: Okay, I'll tell you the truth, since we're both so into the truth tonight. That's what good relationships are about, right?
Rory: Right.
Jess: But you've gotta promise not to mock me ever, and please don't tell anyone else.
Rory: Promise.
Jess: I was throwing a football with a buddy and got hit in the eye.
Rory: You poor thing.
Jess: Yeah.
Rory: But that's not embarrassing.
Jess: Yeah, now that you mention it, it's not.

Jess: I told her I loved her.
Luke: Wow. What did she say?
Jess: Nothing.
Luke: What, you just said it and walked away?
Jess: No. I got in my car and left.
Luke: You just dropped the bomb and ran?
Jess: I drove.
Luke: You didn't want stick around to see what she said?
Jess: No. And obviously, she had nothing to say.
Luke: How do you know?
Jess: She could have contacted me anytime in the last three months, but she didn't.
Luke: What are you talking about? You change your phone number weekly.
Jess: The ball was in her court.

Jimmy: So, first time on the West Coast?
Jess: First time on the West Coast.
Jimmy: The sites. Ocean.
Jess: I wondered what that was.
Jimmy: Sand.
Jess: Keeps the ocean in its place.
Jimmy: Sky.
Jess: We've got one of those back east.

Man: Do you need some help, friend?
Jess: Nope.
Man: Lived here 25 years. I can certainly point you in a direction, make your journey easier. [Jess walks away] Enjoy this beautiful day.
Jess: I'll have the alfalfa sprouts and a plate of mashed yeast.