Emily: Guess what Lorelai just told me.
Richard: What?
Emily: We are invited to Sookie's wedding.
Richard: Oh, how nice. When is it?
Emily: A week from Sunday.
Richard: Oh, so it's a pity invite.
Emily: Ha!
Lorelai: Oy with the poodles already.

Lorelai: Did you get my note?
Luke: I got your note.
Lorelai: Did you read my note?
Luke: I read your note.
Lorelai: And?
Luke: It was very well-written.
Lorelai: That's it?
Luke: I also enjoyed the Garfield stationary. That's one funny cat.

Paris: Better drinking fountains, updated lockers, clearly marked boys' and girls' restrooms. Non-dairy and wheat-free alternatives in the cafeteria. A larger voice in the monetary disbursal of charitable funds donated to our institution. Because it is our institution, yours and mine. Remember, people. If Chilton soars, we soar. If Chilton fails, we fail. It is up to us. We must get involved. We must care. It is not enough to sign a petition to get a Little Debbie machine installed in the senior corridor. Snack cakes will not change the world. Cream filling will not decide our legacy. How will future generations of Chilton students remember the Class of 2003? John F. Kennedy once said: "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." Those eloquent words are just as relevant here in this hall today. What can you, the future of Chilton, of America, of the world what can you do for your school? I will tell you what you can do. You can vote for me, Paris Geller, for Student Body President. And let me start tomorrow for you today. [silence] Thank you.

Paris: Did you get the "Little Debbie" comment?
Rory: Uh-huh.
Paris: All of it? The cream filling and snack cake?
Rory: Every delicious morsel.
Paris: Good, good. So how do you think it went?
Rory: I think it went fine.
Paris: Fine as in better than Reese and Schotzie?
Rory: Fine as in fine.
Paris: Well, how are you skewing the article?
Rory: Well, you'll have to wait and read about it in The Franklin like everyone else.
Paris: Fine. Write whatever you want.
Rory: I will.
Paris: Just make sure you mention that Schotzie pulling the Sharon Stone, Basic Instinct bit was an attempt to distract the student body from my mandatory recycling program.
Rory: Go away, Randolph.

Paris: So, I have been racking my brains for weeks trying to figure out exactly who should be my Vice-Presidential candidate. You know, who would be yin to my yang, Joel to my Ethan, Damon to my Affleck? And then, suddenly, it hits me. The perfect person.
Rory: Who?
Paris: You.
Rory: What?
Paris: It's genius. We could announce it in The Franklin tomorrow. Geller and Gilmore. We even have a 'G' thing. Never underestimate the power of alliteration, my friend.

Paris: They hate me, okay?
Rory: Who hates you?
Paris: Everyone in the whole school hates me. Oh, yeah, they think I'm the best for the job, but they don't want to go to the mall with me so they won't vote for me so that means I'm going to lose.
Rory: Well, how is my running with you gonna change anything?
Paris: Because people think you're nice. You're quiet. You say, "Excuse me." You look like birds help you get dressed in the morning. People don't fear you.
Rory: Hey, I haven't been dressed by a bird since I was two.
Paris: You will soften my image.

Christopher: When Jackson came out holding that kilt, damn, I felt for him.
Lorelai: I know. So did I.
Christopher: Please, I saw what your face was doing.
Lorelai: What? What was my face doing?
Christopher: It was counting how many Brigadoon references you could come up with to torture him with on a later date.
Lorelai: How dare you accuse my face of that? My face is calling Gloria Allred when we get home.
Christopher: How many references?
Lorelai: None.
Christopher: How many?
Lorelai: Twelve. Including a few bars of "I'll Go Home With Bonnie Jean".

Paris: [on the phone] I'm going to lose.
Rory: You don't know that.
Paris: Yes, I do. Because even if I win, I only won because of you. Therefore, either way, I lose.
Rory: Come on. Go get a cup of coffee. Relax. You deserve this job. I swear. Put away the concession speech.
Paris: [sighs] Hubert Humphrey must not have been considered very fun either.

Michel: All right, the piano movers will be here at 8:00 and the chairs will be set up at 9:00. All the rooms are made up and ready. I will be in at 10:00. Now, I am going home, unless you would like me to stay.
Lorelai: Actually, I would. Thanks.
Michel: No, I'm sorry. I think I said that wrong. I am going home now, unless you would like me to stay.
Lorelai: I would love you to stay. Thanks for offering.
Michel: Okay, see, once again, my English, not so good. One more time. I am going home now after working six hours longer than I usually work and performing tasks I despise and I'm ashamed of. And now I am going home to wash off the stench of this horrifying day that is, unless, for some unknown, godforsaken reason you need me to stay.
Lorelai: Well, actually-
Michel: Goodbye.

Luke: Then what the hell are you doing here, Jess? You know, I called you six times. Now, I didn't expect you to call me back so we could sit on the phone in bed and watch Sleepless in Seattle together. I just expected you to call me back to say you got home safe, no one mugged you on the bus, say you were okay. You know what? Never mind. Just tell me what it is you want. I got work to do.
Jess: I want to come back.