Sookie: Well, those are some alternative songs, but I really like this one.
Lorelai: Alternative songs? Good. Let's see. "Hey Jude"?
Sookie: Paul wrote it for Julian to cheer him up.
Lorelai: "Seasons In The Sun"?
Sookie: A sentimental favorite.
Lorelai: "Cat's In The Cradle"?
Sookie: Oh, it makes you reexamine your priorities.
Lorelai: "Don't Cry Out Loud?" Sookie, do you even like Jackson?

Lorelai: Michel, how is the RSVP list coming?
Michel: Well, I must say this has been especially challenging for me. When you are talking about a wedding with up to 40 people all living within a five-mile radius, how can one person be expected to keep track of all of that?
Lorelai: Just an answer will do.
Michel: You know, it got a little hairy there for a moment. I almost needed a second sheet of paper.
Lorelai: I'm not going to let you annoy me out of making you handle it.
Michel: Oh, we'll see.

Lorelai: You know what I just realized? "Oy" is the funniest word in the entire world.
Rory: Hmm.
Lorelai: I mean, think about it. You never hear the word "oy", and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh, dear God.
Lorelai: "Poodle" is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink up, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put "oy" and "poodle" together in the same sentence you'd have a great new catchphrase. Like, "Oy with the poodles already". [Rory laughs] So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise we'll use our favorite new catchphrase: "Oy with the poodles already". I'm telling you, it's knocking "What you talking about, Willis?" out of first place.

Emily: Our invitation. I mean, she must have at least given you an invitation to give us.
Lorelai: She felt it would be more special coming directly from me.
Emily: So she was out of invitations. I never felt so special.
Lorelai: Mom, she wants you to come. There's no reason to be insulted here.
Emily: I guess I should be thrilled I didn't just get a call from you on the road as you were on your way there.
Lorelai: Do not turn this into something it's not.
Emily: Do we have a choice between chicken or fish, or at this point do we just bring our own?
Lorelai: Mom, stop.
Emily: Perhaps she would like us to pick up some ice along the way? Or help out parking the cars.

Rory: No, I don't want to be in politics. I just want to write about it.
Paris: You won't have to do anything. I'll do the work and make the speeches. You just have to sit there and be nice.
Rory: No. Bye. [walks away]
Paris: Harvard loves this kind of crap. [Rory walks back] Being Vice-President is just one more thing to put you ahead of the rest of hundreds of thousands of straight A students who are applying for the same spot you are. Think about it. You say no then comes the day when the letter from Harvard arrives. They've turned you down. Enjoy Connecticut State, sucker. Tell me you won't be thinking, "What if I had just run with Paris?" "What if the one thing that could have ensured my place behind those ivy-covered walls I just walked away from?"
Rory: Fine.
Paris: Yes. Okay.
Rory: I guess just being nice to people never occurred to you?
Paris: See, that is exactly what I need from you. Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm for the new millennium. Hey, wear some braids tomorrow, with bows. I mean, hell, let's sell it, sister.

Rory: [answers phone] Hello?
Paris: How's this sound for a template? "I have done my best. I have lost. Mr. Nixon has won. The democratic process has worked its will, so now let's get on with the urgent task of uniting this country."
Rory: What is that?
Paris: Hubert Humphrey's concession speech. Now, other than the part about Nixon, parts of it really seem to apply here.
Rory: Paris-
Paris: Hey, I'm not going to steal it. I'll paraphrase and give him credit.
Rory: Paris.
Paris: Not that the person who actually wins will even know who Hubert Humphrey is but, hey, I bet they'll organize one boffo senior ditch day.

Emily: The wedding is in one week?
Lorelai: Yes.
Emily: So this is a pity invite?
Lorelai: A what?
Emily: Someone canceled at the last minute and rather than being left with two empty seats Sookie asked you to ask us. How nice.
Lorelai: That's not what happened.
Emily: No, that's quite all right. Far be it for me to be invited with the first batch of actual wanted guests. This is just fine.
Lorelai: Mom, it's not a pity invite. She really wants you to come.
Emily: Is that so?
Lorelai: Yes, that's so.

Kirk: Luke, I've only got ten minutes. How fast can you make a ham on rye?
Luke: I never clocked it, Kirk.
Kirk: Do you think it could be fast?
Luke: Yes, Kirk, of all the sandwiches, I do believe the ham on rye is one of the faster ones to assemble.
Kirk: What about a patty melt? Same time frame?
Luke: Probably longer.
Kirk: Really?
Luke: Yes, I have to grill a hamburger. Where as with the other one, I just put the ham on the bread.
Kirk: What if I want the bread on the ham on rye toasted? Are we talking somewhere between the patty melt and the un-toasted?
Luke: Probably.
Kirk: Closer to the melt or-
Luke: Kirk.
Kirk: Peanut butter and jelly to go.
Luke: Coming right up.

Lorelai: Sookie, you've got to be kidding.
Sookie: What?
Lorelai: You can not walk down the aisle to that.
Sookie: Why?
Lorelai: It's depressing.
Sookie: It's Ella.
Lorelai: It's morbid.
Sookie: It's a classic song.
Lorelai: A classic song with lyrics about a woman who can't make her relationship work whose life is full of emptiness, regret and pain.
Sookie: Oh, who listens to the lyrics?
Lorelai: Anyone not hanging out with Annie Sullivan by the water pump.

Rory: Tell you what, Sookie, how about Lane and I come up with a few more suggestions? Still melodic, but not quite as Girl, Interrupted.
Sookie: All right, fine.