
‘I Am Kayak, Hear Me Roar’
Season 7, Episode 15 - Aired February 20, 2007
Emily struggles to take care of things as Richard returns home and resists being put on a healthy diet. Lorelai is nervous about telling her parents she and Christopher split up.
Quote from Babette
Babette: Yeah, it's true. He's definitely moved out. Last time I saw the beagle's car in the driveway, it was days ago. Then I saw the mover's truck, so only the hen is living there now.
Miss Patty: Did the hen break up with the beagle, or the beagle with the hen?
Babette: I don't know.
Miss Patty: [gasps] The poor hen.
Babette: She's been through so much.
Miss Patty: You know, just kind of getting used to him, the beagle.
Babette: But he's not right for her. He's a beagle, you know. And beagles belong with beagles.
Miss Patty: And the hen belongs with the rooster.
Babette: Maybe.
Miss Patty: Well, does the rooster know about the hen and the beagle?
Babette: Oh, yeah, East Side Tillie was in here yesterday, blabbing her big mouth off.
Miss Patty: How did he take it? Did you see his face?
Babette: Yeah, but you know the rooster. It's like looking at Stonehenge. I don't know what he thinks.
Quote from Sookie
Sookie: To heat most of these up, you just zap them for a couple minutes. Don't worry. Each meal has a note with cooking instructions taped to it.
Lorelai: Did I already tell you you're a goddess?
Sookie: You might have mentioned something to that effect. Could I be the one with the multiarms?
Lorelai: The who?
Sookie: The goddess with all these arms. I want to be her.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: Okay, so he's using Quicken. A profit and loss statement, a balance sheet, a schedule asset, are all things I can pull up here. We can just e-mail them to the accountant for the 1120.
Emily: LHow do you know about 1120s?
Lorelai: I have to file them for the inn. The inn's a corporation just like Dad's company.
Emily: Why is everything a corporation?
Lorelai: Well, we incorporated so we were protected from personal liability. If someone was allergic to pillow mints and wanted to sue me for a million dollars, I wouldn't have to pay for it out of my own pocket.
Quote from Emily
Lorelai: Mom, you know how to do things by yourself. You are totally capable.
Emily: Sure, I went to Smith, and I was a history major, but I never had any plans to be an historian. I was always going to be a wife. I mean, the way I saw it, a woman's job was to run a home, organize the social life of a family, and bolster her husband while he earned a living. It was a good system, and it was working very well all these years. Only when your husband isn't there because he's watching television in a dressing gown, you realize how dependent you are. I didn't even know I owned windmills.
Lorelai: Mom, now you know, and you know how to right-click.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: Oh, I woke up this morning, and I've got to say, for the first time in my life, I got where the teetotalers are coming from. If I had a hatchet and a barrel of booze, forget about it.
Quote from Emily
Lorelai: Mom, you've got to give the guy a break. You know, he's not gonna watch TV in the bedroom forever.
Emily: No. No, he's not.
Lorelai: Oh, my God, I don't mean he's gonna die.
Emily: What are you telling me? That he's going to live forever? That he's immortal? Is that what you're telling me?
Lorelai: No, I'm just saying, with time, you know...
Quote from Emily
Emily: But you. You provide for yourself. You're not dependent on anyone. You're independent.
Lorelai: I am kayak, hear me roar.
Emily: I mean, look at you. For all these years, you've done very well without a husband.
Lorelai: Maybe so, but I still wanted it to work out.
Emily: You know, the way I was raised, if a married couple split up, it was a disaster, because it meant the system had fallen apart, and it was particularly bad for the woman because she had to go out and find herself another rich husband, only she was older now. But with you, it's not such a disaster, is it?
Lorelai: I guess not.
Emily: It's really not such a horrible thing that you're going to get a divorce, not really. Oh, you're gonna be fine.
Lorelai: Thanks, Mom.
Emily: You may even marry someone else someday. Who knows?
Lorelai: Who knows.
Quote from Lorelai
Rory: So we're driving.
Lorelai: Yeah, we're driving. ... Honey, your dad and I split up last night.
Rory: Oh, Mom, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
Lorelai: I'm okay. I'm driving, moving forward.
Rory: You are driving.
Quote from Richard
Emily: Richard, wouldn't you like to change for dinner?
Richard: No, if you're going to treat me like a patient, I'm going to act like a patient. Patients wear robes.
Emily: All right. Fine. May I offer you a mocktail?
Richard: No. I don't want a mocktail. In fact, I'd like to skip "mocktail hour" altogether and go straight to dinner.
Quote from Richard
Richard: Oh, well. It's fish again.
Emily: It's sea bass.
Richard: And sea bass is a fish, hence my comment. "Surprise, surprise, it's fish again."
Rory: It tastes good.
Richard: Tastes like fish.
Emily: I don't think it tastes fishy. Sea bash is not a fishy fish. Mackerel is a fishy fish. Trout can be a fishy fish. But sea bass is not really a fishy fish.
Richard: I didn't say it tasted fishy. I said it tasted like fish.