Jess: You have nothing? I have nothing! I have no place to go. I can't stay at Luke's, I can't stay in Stars Hollow. My mother is a wackjob. I mean, you're saying you're this loser and what, you don't wanna take me off this terrific path I'm headed down right now? I'm not graduating high school. I don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life, but something's telling me I better find out soon or I'm gonna be that guy out there on the boardwalk selling the hemp hats.

Lorelai: You have a lot of signatures in here, little girl.
Rory: Everybody signs everybody's yearbook. It's polite.
Lorelai: "Rory, have a great summer. BFF.Amber." Hey, Amber BFF'ed you.
Rory: Yeah, I feel truly blessed.
Lorelai: "Hey, Aurory Borealis." Okay, can't talk to this one ever again. "You have been my inspiration, my rock, my light. I loved you in South Pacific." When did you do South Pacific?
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Some dipstick named Shauna thinks you were in South Pacific.
Rory: Oh, Shauna tends to get people mixed up.

Jimmy: So, first time on the West Coast?
Jess: First time on the West Coast.
Jimmy: The sites. Ocean.
Jess: I wondered what that was.
Jimmy: Sand.
Jess: Keeps the ocean in its place.
Jimmy: Sky.
Jess: We've got one of those back east.

Man: Do you need some help, friend?
Jess: Nope.
Man: Lived here 25 years. I can certainly point you in a direction, make your journey easier. [Jess walks away] Enjoy this beautiful day.
Jess: I'll have the alfalfa sprouts and a plate of mashed yeast.