Emily: Can I have my program back, then? As my friend Sylvia Rosenblatt would say, I'm "Shavitzing."
Lorelai: Shvitzing, Mom. Shvitzing.

Lorelai: Mom, why do you want to loan me money?
Emily: All it would require is the three of us sit down and hash out the details. Obviously, we want to get together with you from time to time to see how things are progressing, but we wouldn't become pests about it.
Lorelai: Mom, why don't we just talk about it Friday night at dinner?
Emily: Oh. So our Friday-night dinners are going to continue, then?
Lorelai: Well, we might as well. I've kind of gotten used to it.
Emily: All right. That sounds fine. But don't be late and don't wear jeans.
Lorelai: When have I ever worn jeans to dinner?
Emily: Well... I don't know, it could very well be Rory who enforces the dress code. I'm just saying I don't think that jeans are appropriate.
Lorelai: Fine, spandex and a tube top it is.

Emily: Now, listen, you keep in touch, and not just postcards. Phone calls as well.
Rory: Of course.
Emily: It's an honor to be your grandmother, Rory Gilmore.
Rory: Well, thank you. I... Thank you for everything.

Lorelai: Mom, you've got to give the guy a break. You know, he's not gonna watch TV in the bedroom forever.
Emily: No. No, he's not.
Lorelai: Oh, my God, I don't mean he's gonna die.
Emily: What are you telling me? That he's going to live forever? That he's immortal? Is that what you're telling me?
Lorelai: No, I'm just saying, with time, you know...

Emily: But you. You provide for yourself. You're not dependent on anyone. You're independent.
Lorelai: I am kayak, hear me roar.
Emily: I mean, look at you. For all these years, you've done very well without a husband.
Lorelai: Maybe so, but I still wanted it to work out.
Emily: You know, the way I was raised, if a married couple split up, it was a disaster, because it meant the system had fallen apart, and it was particularly bad for the woman because she had to go out and find herself another rich husband, only she was older now. But with you, it's not such a disaster, is it?
Lorelai: I guess not.
Emily: It's really not such a horrible thing that you're going to get a divorce, not really. Oh, you're gonna be fine.
Lorelai: Thanks, Mom.
Emily: You may even marry someone else someday. Who knows?
Lorelai: Who knows.

Emily: Lorelai Gilmore, I've watched you do a lot of stupid things in your life and I have held my tongue.
Lorelai: [scoffs] You've what?
Emily: But I will not stand by and let you allow that girl to ruin her life.
Lorelai: Mom, back off.
Emily: She spent the night out with that boy the one you let her run off to that dance with.
Lorelai: Mom, so help me God, I will not get into this with you.
Emily: She's doing the same thing you did.
Lorelai: No, she's not.
Emily: She'll get pregnant.
Lorelai: No, she's not.
Emily: She's gonna ruin everything, just like you did.
Lorelai: No, she's not! No, she's not! No, she's not! Rory is a good kid, Mom! She's not me!

Lorelai: What's wrong?
Emily: Oh, it's your father. I wanted him to go upstairs and clean up, but I can't pry him away from that partner of his.
Lorelai: Digger's here?
Emily: They're in the study doing something computery. When did we suddenly become so dependent on computers?

Emily: [on the phone] Take it to the pool house.
Richard: What? Why?
Emily: Well, that's why we have it.
Richard: We have a pool house for stray dogs? Love the innuendo, Emily.