Lorelai: I should have told him, right?
Sookie: Well...
Lorelai: Yeah. I should have told him. Now he's going to think I'm hiding something from him and I'm not. Damn it. He's going to beat up my car.
Sookie: [chuckles] It's American, it can take it.

Jackson: I came home from work and I found these on the doorstep. What the hell is this supposed to mean?
Sookie: Hon, maybe it's just a joke.
Jackson: No. This is not a joke. This is a threat.
Lorelai: Yeah. Those people at Butterick Patterns play pretty rough.
Jackson: This is the fish on the doorstep. It's the horse head in the bed. It's the "Either your signature or your brains are going to be on the contract".

Lorelai: Oh, well, very funny story. Back at the Independence Inn there was this couple and they would come in all the time and steal the bathrobes, they would make Michel crazy. So, today-
Luke: Up.
Lorelai: Right. So today, they showed up-
Luke: Who?
Lorelai: The Bathrobe Bandits. They showed up and they stayed and then they were checking out and then, get this, the bellboy comes running over and tells me to "Come quick, there's a situation in the lobby". And so I come running to the lobby-
Luke: You can put your plate down.
Lorelai: Right. So I run to the lobby and Michel is being chased and the wife is calling the cops and I comped their room and gave them free bathrobes to stop the yelling and the calling... And this is a very bad story.
Luke: It wasn't that bad.
Lorelai: No, this is the second time I've told it. Both times, crickets.
Lorelai: I mean, Rory and Christopher looked at me like I was Pauly Shore.
Luke: Christopher?
Lorelai: Rory's Dad. He came for lunch today. I had lunch with him today. And Rory. Had lunch with Rory and Christopher. And G.G., his daughter with Sherry, he brought her 'cause Sherry moved to France and he's a full time dad now and we all had lunch. All of us, together, today. And when I told the Bathrobe Bandit story they all acted like that. Except G.G., who spit up, 'cause she's a baby. That's what they do.
Luke: Okay.

Lorelai: [answers phone] Hello?
Emily: You get over here right now!
Lorelai: Who is this?
Emily: This is you in twenty years! "Who is this", I swear!

Emily: I haven't done this in years. I have no idea what's appropriate to wear on the first date. I have no idea what's appropriate to say on the first date. I have no idea what to talk about, what to order. Which one?
Lorelai: They look exactly the same.
Emily: They are not exactly the same!
Lorelai: Okay. Then that one.
Emily: Why?
Lorelai: Why what?
Emily: Why did you pick that one? What was your logic behind picking this particular one? Could it possibly be because it was closest?
Lorelai: Well, you know what they say about location.
Emily: You're just picking anything so that I will get dressed so you can leave.

Emily: I have to tell you, every time I hear Mahler's Seventh Symphony, I get ridiculous, giddy. It's like the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show.
Simon: Well, Mahler can do that to you.
Emily: Did you see the Cleveland Orchestra when they were here last month?
Simon: I went every single night.
Emily: Oh, I should've done that. I went the last night and then to the gala afterward.
Simon: Their conductor that night-
Emily: Ridalsky.
Simon: Did you know that he's deaf in his left ear?
Emily: I did know that. In fact, I have a very evil friend who likes to sit next to him at all the gala dinners and whisper incredibly scandalous things into his ear all night long.
Simon: [chuckles] Well, who knew that Emily Gilmore ran with such a bad crowd?
Emily: Oh, yes, I'm very dangerous. Ask my maids.

Marty: Okay. I remember something about Rome. Rome. Rome. Romans live there. Uh, Audrey Hepburn took a holiday there. It's the name of a B52's song.
Rory: Different "Roam".
Marty: Okay. That's it. I can't remember. College is breaking my spirit. Every single day telling me things I don't know, it's making me feel stupid.
Rory: Okay, I need a break.

Rory: This week sucked, I'm so glad it's over.
Marty: Why'd it suck?
Rory: Just a ton of school work, Ramadan.
Marty: Oh, sure.
Rory: I broke up with my boyfriend this week. That was fun. In front of a bunch of people at my grandmother's house. And then, because apparently that wasn't enough Peyton Place for me, I have this whole thing going with my dad, who's suddenly back in my life again.
Marty: Yeah. Dads can be tough.
Rory: I spent so many years just... I couldn't wait until he showed up. And now he's showing up. And... I don't know. I'm just really tired.

Simon: It's been a long time since I've had an evening quite as enjoyable as this one.
Emily: I'm choosing to believe you, Simon, partly because it's flattering and partly because I've had three glasses of wine and a limoncello.