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Gilmore Girls: Emily in Wonderland

‘Emily in Wonderland’

Season 1, Episode 19 -  Aired April 26, 2001

Rory gives her grandmother Emily a tour of Stars Hollow. Meanwhile, Lorelai gets to know Luke's girlfriend Rachel.

Quote from Rory

Emily: How are you doing with those shoes?
Rory: All done.
Emily: [gasps] That's amazing! What is that you used?
Rory: I don't know. We got it off one of those late-night TV ads. Apparently it also gets rust off nails and hinges, waxes your car perfectly, and weatherproofs windows and doors.
Emily: Isn't that nice.

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Quote from Emily

Rory: Okay, about today. I think I' should just give you the grand tour of the town. So we can start by walking to Kim's Antiques which takes us by all the good sites.
Emily: Well, Rory, I don't think I wore the right shoes for the grand tour. Why don't we just drive?
Rory: You can borrow my mom's shoes.
Emily: Oh, no, I don't think so. Rory, hold on a minute.
Rory: Grandma, you'll be missing the true Stars Hollow experience if you don't walk. Trust me.
Emily: All right, but I won't wear anything with rhinestones or zebra stripes or anything that has batteries or that sings or makes animal noises or moves on its own.
Rory: Grandma, I got it.

Quote from Rory

Rory: Lane, with all due respect to your fiance, Henry will call.
Lane: No, he's not.
Rory: Well, then why did he talk to you all night and follow you everywhere you went and ask you to dance six times?
Lane: Was it six times?
Rory: It was six times. And he didn't ask you to dance because you're a good dancer. Because, to tell the you the truth, and as much as I love you, you're not.
Lane: Really?
Rory: You are an embarrassment to the art of dancing.
Lane: Thank you.

Quote from Emily

Lorelai: I thought you were gonna go antiquing.
Rory: We did, and then we had lunch.
Lorelai: Really? Where?
Emily: Teriyaki Joe's.
Lorelai: You're kidding.
Rory: She picked.
Lorelai: You did?
Emily: It looked festive.

Quote from Lane

Lane: What was that? Sounded like some sick take on the Gallup Survey.

Quote from Luke

Lorelai: Wow, it really looks different from back here, you know? All this is yours, as far as the eye can see.
Luke: Yes, it's quite an empire I've built for myself. I'm thinking of conquering the flower shop next door and expanding the freezer.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: She actually asked if you like the Backstreet Boys?
Rory: Except she called them 'Backside Boys'.
Lorelai: Ha! That is high comedy. What inspired that woman?
Rory: I don't know. It was weird.
Lorelai: This sudden interest in pop music. I sat her down to listen to a Prince song once and she looked like she was having a stroke.
Lorelai: Wait a minute. I know what she's doing.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: She's trying to be your pal now. Ugh, that sneak. You spend one day together and she wants to know all about you. She's picturing you guys chatting about boys and painting each other's toenails.

Quote from Emily

Emily: Maybe you don't like the fact that she has a place away from you. Someplace that's just her own.
Lorelai: I said I was fine.
Emily: Or maybe because it's so large and spacious and has four solid walls around the bathtub.
Lorelai: Excuse me?
Emily: I mean, it might not be exciting or bohemian but at least it doesn't have shovels propped up against the sofa, does it?
Lorelai: I'm sorry. I missed the checkered flag. When did the argument start?
Emily: Is it because it's not a shack in the woods? Or is it the proximity to me that's making you so uncomfortable?
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Emily: You hated us that much?
Lorelai: What?
Emily: You had to take that little girl away. That was bad enough. But to that? To live there in a shed like a hobo?
Lorelai: Who uses the word 'hobo' anymore?
Emily: I saw it! I saw that horrible little pit you so proudly ran to. I saw what you chose over your own family. You'd have lived in the gutter, in the street, in a cardboard box anywhere as long as you didn't have to be near us.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: What about Kim's Antiques?
Emily: What's Kim's Antiques?
Lorelai: Didn't that burn down?
Rory: My best friend Lane's parents have this great antique store in Stars Hollow.
Emily: Is that so? Why haven't you ever told me about it?
Lorelai: I don't know, Mom. I guess it just got lost in my big head.

Quote from Luke

Rachel: Do you wear contacts?
Lorelai: Me? No.
Rachel: God, you've got amazing eyes. Doesn't she?
Luke: Yeah, sure, I guess. I mean they're, you know, placed good. Symmetrical. I'm gonna get some more coffee.

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