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‘Emily in Wonderland’ Quotes Page 1 of 6    

Gilmore Girls: Emily in Wonderland

119. Emily in Wonderland

Aired April 26, 2001

Rory gives her grandmother Emily a tour of Stars Hollow. Meanwhile, Lorelai gets to know Luke's girlfriend Rachel.

Quote from Lane

Lane: Maybe he has a girlfriend.
Rory: Lane.
Lane: A tiny, perfect Korean girl that his parents will love and approve of.
Rory: Lane, you are a tiny, perfect Korean girl that his parents will approve of.
Lane: No, they'd know.
Rory: Know what?
Lane: Know I listen to the wrong music and wish I could go blond without looking bad. Or that I'd take a Whopper over kimchi in a heartbeat.
Rory: Now you're just going crazy.
Lane: So he doesn't like me, he won't call. It's not the end of the world. I'll live. I'll go on. There's always college, unless my parents get their way and then it's, "I take thee, Jesus, to be my lawful wedded husband."

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Quote from Lane

Rory: I like this song. It makes me gloomy.
Lane: Gloomy's good.
Rory: Really gloomy.
Lane: Like, Joy Division gloomy? Nick Cave or Robert Smith gloomy?
Rory: Johnny Cash gloomy.
Lane: So kind of like a San Quentin-y, "It's a long road home, and my horse just got shot 'but I still got my girl by my side" gloomy?
Rory: You read my mind.
Lane: I'm deep in a Charlie Parker gloomy.

Quote from Lane

Lane: Well, it was a good message the first few times. Then I started parsing it for subtext.
Rory: What did he say?
Lane: He said, "Hey, Lane, it's Henry." Not a good start.
Rory: How do you figure?
Lane: It's so gender-neutral. It's how you start a conversation with a bowling pal.
Rory: He asked you bowling?
Lane: Then he said, "It was fun meeting you the other night."
Rory: What?
Lane: He didn't say which night, like he didn't remember which night. Like he's mixing me up with another girl from another night. For all I know, he thought he was calling the hot blonde he met at a hopped-up night at Balthazar's.
Rory: He's a 16-year-old Korean boy.
Lane: Or so he led me to believe.
Rory: What's the bottom line here?
Lane: The bottom line is that he wants me to call him back. But if I do that, then he's probably gonna ask me out on a date. And if we go on a date, then it could lead to another date. And then I'll have to introduce him to my parents. And once I do that they're going to like him because he's Korean and he's gonna be a doctor. And then once that happens, that's it. It'll be over. He'll be hideous to me. [sighs] Now I'm a Lou Reed gloomy.

Quote from Rory

Emily: No food, no drink. Do you at least have plates?
Rory: Yes, we have plates.
Emily: There are women in bikinis on them.
Rory: The original Charlie's Angels. It took us years to get a complete set. You can find the Kate Jacksons and Shelley Hacks pretty easily. Even the Cheryl Ladds. But the Farrah Fawcetts and Jaclyn Smiths are a little harder to find but still accessible. The real trick is to find the Tanya Roberts. We have three.
Emily: You have three Tanya Roberts?
Rory: Yes.
Emily: And I was worried. Silly me.

Quote from Emily

Emily: [on the phone] Now, what about music? 'NSYNC or 98 Degrees?
Rory: Uh... 'NSYNC or 98 Degrees?
Lane: What kind of sick joke is this?
Rory: I don't think I could choose.
Emily: Well, what about that other group, the Backside Boys?
Rory: You mean the Backstreet Boys?
Emily: Yes, that's it.
Rory: Um... I guess if I really had to choose, I'd say 'NSYNC.
Emily: Wonderful.
Rory: Are you writing this down?
Emily: Maybe.
Rory: What for?
Emily: You'll see. I'm looking forward to dinner on Friday.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Ugh, it'd be like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan. But at least those guys got to be in France.

Quote from Emily

Emily: Because when she was seven, I came downstairs and found her burning all of her baby pictures.
Rory: Why would you do that? I'm sure you were a cute baby.
Emily: She was very cute.
Lorelai: Four, three, two, one.
Emily: In most respects.
Lorelai: Then we have lift off.
Emily: What does that mean?
Lorelai: Nothing.
Emily: I don't see what the problem is. You certainly grew into it.
Rory: Grown into what?
Emily: As a child, your mother had an unusually large head.
Lorelai: The best thing about it was she'd tell me constantly. My first sentence was, "Big head want dolly."
Rory: I can't imagine it being that bad.
Emily: It wasn't. It just affected her balance a little...

Quote from Emily

Emily: Lorelai, do you realize how rare these chairs are?
Lorelai: No.
Emily: I've searched for three years for them. I'd combed every fine antique store on the East Coast and this is all I could find. I blame Peg Mossley.
Lorelai: Peg Mossley, evil woman.
Rory: What did Peg Mossley do?
Lorelai: She lured two German children to her gingerbread house and then she tried to eat them. Pass the artichokes, please.
Emily: I made the mistake of telling Peg all my favorite special spots and that woman moved in and completely wiped them out. You can't find a decent Biedermeier hutch in all of Connecticut. I'm desperate for new sources.

Quote from Lorelai

Lorelai: Yeah, well, it's like two eyes staring at me. See, I can't eat it like this.
Rory: Hence the 'oops.'
Luke: What are you talking about? You always order the same thing.
Lorelai: Yeah, but you usually put the eggs on the side so my breakfast is not ogling me.
Luke: It's the same food.
Lorelai: Mmm. Yeah, I need the eggs put on the side.
Luke: You want a brand-new plate?
Lorelai: Yes.
Luke: How about if I take this plate in the back, take the eggs off the pancakes I put the eggs on the side, and bring the plate back? What happens then?
Lorelai: Then I can eat my breakfast.
Luke: It's the same food, just a different configuration.
Lorelai: I won't know that.

Quote from Emily

Rory: Do you want something to drink? There should be iced tea in the fridge.
Emily: Iced tea would be nice. Oh, my God! There's nothing in here.
Rory: I know. It's a little sparse.
Emily: It's The Grapes of Wrath.
Rory: Don't worry. We eat fine.

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