Lorelai: [on the phone] Okay, sweetie, calm down.
Rory: I need you.
Lorelai: Rory.
Rory: I need you, I need you here, I need you now. I cannot do this alone. I need my Mommy, and dammit, I don't care who knows it!
Lorelai: What hospital is it?
Rory: Boston Memorial.
Lorelai: I'll be right there.
Rory: I really, really like you.
Lorelai: Tell Sherry to keep her legs crossed 'til I get there.
Rory: Does that work?
Lorelai: No. Bye.

Lorelai: Mom, I gotta go, I'm sorry. Dinner was great.
Emily: Where are you going?
Lorelai: Sherry's freaking out and Rory's the only one with her, so I'm going to the hospital.
Emily: You're going to be with Rory's father's girlfriend while she has his baby?
Lorelai: Gee, Mom, I can't at all tell what your opinion on that might be.
Emily: Why would you do this? This woman pulled Christopher away from you, away from Rory. She destroyed any chance you might have had...
Lorelai: Rory asked me to come, that's why I'm going.
Emily: I don't understand what Rory's doing there either.
Lorelai: She's going to have a sister.
Emily: Half-sister.
Lorelai: Thank you for a lovely dinner. I'll see you next week.

Lorelai: The first thing you have to do is calm down and stop working. And the second thing is, you need to tell me why you're sitting like that.
Sherry: Maureen told me that Howard Stern said that if you squat, it makes the baby come out faster.
Lorelai: Okay, as long as you have a sane reason from a reliable source.

Sherry: I'm scared.
Lorelai: I know. It's scary, and it hurts like hell. And remember, when it comes out not to look at it too hard until they give it a good cleaning, or you'll think you gave birth to phlegm. But, once they give it a good scrub, it's just unbelievably cool.
Sherry: Yeah?
Lorelai: And look how good they grow up. Not bad, huh?
Sherry: I hope I get that lucky.
Lorelai: I've got a good feeling.
Sherry: Thank you.

Lorelai: She's jogging in place.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: I think she's hoping to aerobicize the thing right out of there.
Rory: Well, should we stop her?
Lorelai: I tried. She almost took an eye out.
Rory: Well, that can't be good for the baby.
Lorelai: It's probably no worse than the guilt trip it's gonna get for showing up a week early.
Rory: You do know it's a girl.
Lorelai: Yes, I should probably stop calling it "it". Her "it".

Lorelai: Did you try calling your dad again?
Rory: His cell's not in service or out of range or something.
Lorelai: You do know if he doesn't get here, I have to go in with her.
Rory: Yes, I do.
Lorelai: I don't want to go in with her.
Rory: At least you know what's gonna happen.
Lorelai: I had the cheap seat before. My view was quite a bit different.

[flashback:]
Emily: Lorelai, you do not do this. You do not just leave a person a note.
Young Lorelai: Okay, see the timing here?
Emily: "Dear Mom and Dad, I'm in labor. See you later, Lorelai."
Richard: Emily, please, I feel ridiculous.
Emily: You're having a baby. Do you know that, Lorelai?
Young Lorelai: Well, that explains the stomachache.
Emily: You do not leave your house when you are having a baby without telling your mother. You say, "Excuse me, Mom. I'm having a baby, give me a ride to the damn hospital!"
Richard: Emily, please, I wore the wrong shoes for this.
Emily: Of all the things in the world I had a right to do, driving my daughter to the hospital to give birth, especially since she's sixteen years old and doesn't have her driver's license yet, is definitely one of them.

Jess: I guess I'm not going out for about an hour.
Luke: Say goodnight, Jess.
Jess: I don't understand you, man.
Luke: My mystique is part of my charm.
Jess: You at least want me to take a walk around the block?
Luke: Jess.
Jess: Take an extra long shower?
Luke: Go upstairs.
Jess: Sorry, I tried.

Lorelai: I think I should put this in your bedroom. That's your best TV.
Emily: But you just said you didn't know how to hook that up.
Lorelai: I'll figure it out.
Emily: But there are wires involved and connections and electricity. You could hurt yourself or set the house on fire.
Lorelai: [sings] In your Easter bonnet...
Emily: You could ruin our television set.
Lorelai: ...with all the frills upon it, you'll be the grandest fella in the Easter parade. I'll be all in clover...
Emily: I don't like being ignored, Lorelai.
Lorelai: ...and when they look us over, we'll be the proudest people in the Easter parade.