Quote from Kirk in New and Improved Lorelai
Luke: And these are real? Kirk: Yes, they are. Luke: I mean, real diamonds, not "they exist" real? Kirk: Diamond and platinum. I have a certificate of authenticity for every one of these babies. Luke: Kirk, where'd you get all these rings? Kirk: I befriend really old women. Luke: Excuse me? Kirk: Really old women need companionship, Luke. They are really old. Most people they know are dead. So when someone comes along and they're not dead, and they'll listen to their stories and care about their dosage, they are grateful. Luke: Are you serious? Kirk: Serious as a heart attack. Which is how I got that ring you're holding right now.