Luke: Lorelai said you were hiding someone here earlier, she said a girl. Were you?
Jess: Yes.
Luke: Jess, you don't shove a girl in a closet.
Jess: I did not shove her in the closet. She got in voluntarily.
Luke: Oh, sure.
Jess: Look, Shane freaked when she heard you guys coming. Next thing I know, she's in there. I personally didn't care if you guys saw us or not, but hey, women, right? You can't live with 'em, you can't keep 'em from jumping in the closet.
Luke: You and I have got to have a little talk.
Jess: Hey, if you're gonna get all Ward Cleaver on me, I gotta go call Eddie and Lumpy and tell 'em I'm gonna be late.