Lorelai: Kirk, please, what can we do right now? The alarm is just so loud.
Kirk: Yeah, that's my fault, too. I asked Jimmy to really crank it up.
Lorelai: Well, he did.
Kirk: If you're gonna have an alarm, you need it loud. You don't want some crazed, knife-wielding gunman at your throat and the neighbors are going, like, "Is that a fan? Did I leave the water running?" You want them to know, "Hey, that's an alarm."
Lorelai: Your imaginary attacker has a knife and a gun?
Kirk: And a really dirty tank top.