Emily: In the meantime, can I offer you a drink?
Lorelai: Yes. The usual: Martini up, with a twist.
Emily: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not serving alcohol tonight.
Lorelai: [to Rory] I told you there was something wrong with my ears. [to Emily] What?
Emily: I'm serving nonalcoholic cocktails only.
Lorelai: There's no such thing as a nonalcoholic cocktail.
Emily: There most certainly is. It's called a mocktail.
Lorelai: You're serving mocktails?
Emily: Yes. I can offer you a Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers.
Rory: I'll have a Roy Rogers.
Lorelai: Why not a "Howdy Doody" or a "Captain Kangaroo"?
Emily: Lorelai, stop being so selfish. We're doing this for your father. After you've had open-heart surgery, alcohol is strictly verboten.