‘Chicken or Beef?’
Season 4, Episode 4 - Aired October 14, 2003
When Rory makes a surprise visit back to Stars Hollow, she is shocked to learn Dean and Linsday are set to marry this weekend. Meanwhile, Lorelai and Sookie try to forge ahead with the plans for inn, including bringing Michel on board.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: What did I do to make you torture me like this, Taylor?
Taylor Doose: I don't know what you're talking about.
Lorelai: The hoops! The hoops with the jumping and the fire and the hoops!
Taylor Doose: It's just business, Lorelai.
Lorelai: I pay to shop in your store. I eat your banana splits. I've never physically hurt you except for that one spit wad in the one town meeting, but I didn't mean for it to hit your eye and I apologized profusely, so please, please, put me out of my misery and tell me what I need to do to make this thing happen!
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: Give him his ice-cream truck.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: I forged a stream and I almost got attacked by a beaver, and I'm not leaving here till you agree.
Luke: To what?
Lorelai: You don't own the street, you own the building. It's a public street. Just let him park his stupid truck.
Luke: I'm missing something here.
Lorelai: Don't change the subject.
Luke: I don't even know what the subject is.
Lorelai: If you let Taylor park his stupid ringy-dingy ice-cream truck - not even in front of the diner, but in front of part of the diner - then I can start work on the inn. But if you don't say yes... [Luke turns on a blender]... then you may not have to see his truck parked outside, but you will have to see my body swinging from that tree over there because I will hang myself. I am waiting for your answer. [sighs]
Luke: Sure. [blender stops]
Quote from Lane
Rory: So, a total strikeout, huh?
Lane: Total. And, you know, at first, I felt bad for them - so lacking in talent, yet so clueless. Then I just felt bad for their guitars.
Rory: Where are all the good young musicians these days?
Lane: My ears wanted to fly off my head.
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: The roofer will be out tomorrow. The repair should take about a day.
Lorelai: I'm not gonna inquire about that right now.
Kirk: It's all taken care of, and I want to apologize for any inconvenience.
Lorelai: It was no big deal.
Kirk: I have this strong sense of chivalry when it comes to women living alone.
Lorelai: That's very nice.
Kirk: My family tree dates back to a 12th-century knight.
Lorelai: Wow.
Kirk: As a kid, I thought that meant we were related to Ted Knight. I wrote him a lot of letters. He never responded.
Lorelai: That's cute, though.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: So why didn't you tell me you were getting your hair cut?
Rory: It's just a trim.
Lorelai: To the Braille Institute, it's just a trim.
Rory: Do you like it?
Lorelai: Will you put it back if I don't?
Rory: Mom!
Lorelai: Yes, I like it.
Quote from Lorelai
Rory: Mom?
Lorelai: Follow the Post-It's.
Rory: Does our life seem at all ridiculous to you?
Lorelai: I spent all morning carefully tracking that motion detector.
Rory: What an excellent use of your time.
Lorelai: We're good as long as we stay on the path.
Rory: So I should follow the yellow stick road?
Lorelai: [laughs] We'll be here all week, try the veal.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: Stop.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Read.
Rory: "Crouch down and hop." Oh, come on.
Lorelai: The motion-detector beam at the top of the staircase dips very low over there.
Rory: You seriously want me to crouch down and hop?
Lorelai: Like a little hunchbacked bunny.
Rory: You know, I had decided that if I ever went to therapy, I was gonna leave you out of it, but now...
Quote from Rory
Rory: Lane.
Lane: Rory.
Rory: Have you heard of a phone? Because as my friend, it is your responsibility to use it to call me and tell me that my ex-boyfriend's wedding is on Sunday so I'm not accidentally in it.
Lane: What?
Rory: I'm sitting out in the gazebo, reading, and this guy almost brains me with a stack of tablecloths.
Lane: Oh, that's right, they're having their reception in the town square.
Rory: Yes, and Lindsay was out there holding a giant picture of her with Dean, and...
Lane: Oh my God, did she see you?
Rory: I don't think so. I do a pretty good idiot run when I need to.
Quote from Rory
Dean: So, you're home this weekend.
Rory: Yeah, I ran out of clean clothes and quarters, so...
Quote from Rory
Dean: Well, Lindsay thought she likes the gazebo, and...
Rory: And it's her wedding.
Dean: It is her wedding.
Rory: And your wedding. I mean, it's your wedding, too.
Dean: Yes, it is. It's my wedding, too.
Rory: Well, it's nice. It's, um, it's pretty. It looks like heaven or a Victoria's Secret commercial, which, to some people is basically the same thing.