Rory: She's writing her drummer-seeks-rock-band ad.
Lane: And it's not reading right to me. Could you guys look it over?
Rory: Let's see. "Drummer with strong beat seeks band into the Accelerators, the Adolescents, the Adverts, Agent Orange, the Angelic Upstarts, the Agnostic Front, Ash..."
Rory: You went alphabetically.
Lane: Seemed tidy.
Lorelai: And a little OCD.
Rory: And a little long.
Lane: I can't make cuts.
Rory: It's three pages, single spaced – make cuts.
Lane: But this is the cut-down version. I mean, just from the letter A, I excluded AC/DC, the Animals, and A-Ha, footnoted as a guilty pleasure.

Lane: Okay, I just crunched the numbers and at two thousand words and twenty-five cents a word, this stupid ad's gonna cost five hundred dollars! That's five months worth of Minwaxing end tables at my mom's store. I give up.
Rory: No, don't give up. Just cut down your influences to the most important ones, like with David Bowie.
Lane: Gotta have Bowie.
Rory: But do you have to list every album he ever recorded plus your personal rating between one to ten?
Lane: Maybe not.
Lorelai: And what's with Jackson Browne making the list?
Lane: Ah, see, cool people know that he's more than a mellow hippie-dippy folkie, that he actually wrote some of Nico's best songs and was in fact her lover before he bored us with "Doctor My Eyes". That will separate the poseurs from the non-poseurs.

Lorelai: You can evaluate a significant experience that's had an impact on you. How 'bout that time your drawers dropped at the mall?
Rory: Enough with the drawers.
Lorelai: Or you can write about a person who has had a significant influence on you.
Rory: You?
Lorelai: Or one of your authors, Faulkner or...
Rory: Or Sylvia Plath.
Lorelai: Might send the wrong message.
Rory: The sticking her head in the oven thing?
Lorelai: Yeah. Although she did make her kids a snack first, shows a certain maternal instinct.

Dean: So you'll come home, do homework all weekend, then leave.
Rory: No, I can do my homework during the week or on the train coming home to see you, who I will spend my weekends with not doing homework. Plus, we can talk during the week on the phone constantly. Trust me, it'll feel like I never left.
Dean: Oh, yeah?
Rory: Christiane Amanpour spends half of her life standing in foxholes in third world countries, and she has a husband and a kid. And she was on C-SPAN last week getting some award, so if she and her husband can make it work, we can.
Dean: So we'll have access to the CNN jet?

Lorelai: Okay, what activities interest you?
Rory: All of them except for the sports.
Lorelai: I thought you were the lacrosse kid.
Rory: Mom, just a modicum of seriousness as we do this would be much appreciated.
Lorelai: Hmm. So, circle all of them except sports. Oh, they want a picture. How about the one of us sticking our heads through the carved out holes of Johnny Bravo and SpongeBob Squarepants?
Rory: There's the seriousness I crave.

Rory: I feel dizzy.
Lorelai: Are you sure that's not just the sight of Robert Reed in the tight clown pants?
Rory: Oh, geez. Let the record show that when my application to Harvard arrived, we were watching The Brady Bunch Variety Hour.
Lorelai: You don't lose points for that, do you?
Rory: I hope not. Man, this morning I was reading Dead Souls, it couldn't have come then?
Lorelai: Well, we'll just tell people that's what you were doing, and that I was studying a really big globe. They'll never know.
Rory: You can keep a secret?
Lorelai: Not so far, but there's always a first.
Rory: Dead Souls and a really big globe.
Lorelai: Deal. Oh, kayaks!

Lorelai: And nickname, if any.
Rory: That would be Rory.
Lorelai: Or Droopy Drawers.
Rory: That was never my nickname.
Lorelai: Wrong, I called you that as a baby.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: That's right. You had these little OshKosh cords and they were way too big and once at the mall, they fell right down to your knees and I said, "Whoa, there, Droopy Drawers!" and I'm just afraid if we don't answer everything accurately, the Harvard police will come and hit you with an atlas and say something mean in Latin.
Rory: How would they know that you called me Droopy Drawers?
Lorelai: Well, we could be at a Harvard event and I could slip up and say, "Pass me a lobster puff, Droopy Drawers," and they could hear me, and that'll be that.
Rory: How 'bout you don't drink at any of these Harvard events?

Lane: I'm going to have to crank the Ramones if I have to make deep cuts.

Rory: Thank you.
Luke: Do they let kids drink coffee before school?
Rory: Why, do you think it might lead to harder stuff? Lattes, cappucinos...
Luke: Forget I asked.

Rory: So, what are you doing Saturday?
Dean: Just my usual chores.
Rory: Your usual chores, John-boy?
Dean: Well, what else do you call house jobs?
Rory: I call them the stuff you avoid until the Environmental Protection Agency steps in.