Lorelai: [on the phone] So the reason I'm calling is we haven't heard from you yet, and we really need to nail down some of the details of the party.
Emily: "We" haven't heard from you yet?
Lorelai: Yes, we - me and Sookie.
Emily: Ah, yes, the Independence Catering Company.
Lorelai: Uh-huh. So, anyhow...
Emily: You know, a few years ago, there was a company called Independent Catering. They were all the rage until they catered the Kirov benefit for diabetes that sent 300 people to the hospital with a vicious case of food poisoning. Well, needless to say, they went out of business immediately, and I believe one of them left town without packing.
Lorelai: Oh, well, that's a good story. Hans Christian Anderson?
Emily: You know, some people could mistake the Independence Catering Company with the Independent Catering Company, and that would just be a shame for you, wouldn't it? Now if I'd known what you were going to name your company, I could have warned you.

Emily: [on the phone] When did you send a flier?
Lorelai: Last week.
Emily: What did it say?
Lorelai: Oh, you know come and get it.
Emily: You wrote "come and get it" on your business flier?
Lorelai: Well, no, it was your basic "Introducing the Independence Catering Company", flier. You know, it had our phone number, our address, and an amusing caricature of us.
Emily: Well, that sounds like a very nice flier.
Lorelai: Oh, it was.
Emily: Do you have an extra one? You can bring it with you on Friday night.
Lorelai: Uh... sure.
Emily: Because it's very unusual these days for things to get lost in the mail. You don't think you got the address wrong, do you?

Luke: What are you doing, Kirk?
Kirk: Say I was Tom Cruise. Where would you seat me?
Luke: In an acting class.
Kirk: No, I mean, which do you consider the best seat in the house?
Luke: I don't know.
Kirk: How are the acoustics here?
Luke: What?
Kirk: The bathrooms are right over there. One good loud flush and the entire mood is spoiled.
Luke: I don't have time to kill you right now, Kirk. Come back in a couple of hours.
Kirk: All right, I'll just reserve these three tables and decide later.

Kirk: It's a diagram of how I would like the table set up.
Luke: See. Little flowers by her plate, and the champagne bucket over here so I don't accidentally knock it off the table with my elbow.
Luke: I don't sell champagne, Kirk.
Kirk: Why not?
Luke: Because this is a diner.
Kirk: Good champagne goes with everything.
Luke: Get your own champagne, Kirk.
Kirk: But what about the flowers?
Luke: Kirk.
Kirk: Okay, fine. I'll get the champagne and the flowers. Now, let's say the date goes well. How much for the place upstairs?
Luke: You mean my apartment?
Kirk: Yes.
Luke: Bye, Kirk.

Sookie: We did it, we got the job! What a score! We landed a whale.
Lorelai: Yeah, we always had the job, Sookie. The whale was just toying with us. She was swatting us with her tail and hosing us down with her blowhole because that is the whale's M.O., humiliate and rip apart every other fish in the sea until there's nothing left but a bloody pile of chum.
Sookie: Boy, you really hate whales, don't you?

Lorelai: I can't do this.
Luke: It's a gig.
Lorelai: Yes, it is a gig. It's Prince opening for the Rolling Stones. That's the kind of gig it is.

Lorelai: What's Kirk doing?
Luke: Practicing.
Lorelai: For what?
Luke: His date. He's doing a test run - talking, eating, making conversation. Then he's gonna go home and review the tape and adjust from there.
Lorelai: Boy! You ever think about how many different ways Kirk could get kicked out of the Army?
Luke: What a poor slob. He's pathetic.
Lorelai: He likes a girl. That's sweet.
Luke: All day long, I have this crazy person sitting in my diner ordering everything off the menu, by the way, to see which meal has less crumb-to-sweater ratio.

Emily: You don't have to take that tone with me, Lorelai.
Lorelai: Really, I don't? After you made us do that ridiculous tasting at the house?
Emily: You told me to treat you like any other company.
Lorelai: Oh, but you sat there like the Queen of England, making us jump through hoops and taking ridiculous notes and for what, so you could fire us? Is this payback for me not telling you about the business? Because, I have to say, Mom, even for you, it seems a little extreme.
Emily: I understand you're upset.
Lorelai: Yes, I'm upset! We needed that money, Mom. And I knew that humiliation was part of the package, but I did it because I had to, and just you abruptly firing us is completely wrong!
Emily: I agree, it is wrong.
Lorelai: Well, okay, then as long as you agree it's wrong... Okay.
Emily: [tearful] I'm sorry, Lorelai. I really am. I thought your table was lovely. I thought the food was wonderful. I was really looking forward to this party. I think it might have been the best one I ever put on.
Lorelai: So, then, what happened?
Emily: Oh, you know, times change, Lorelai. Things that were once considered proper and elegant are now considered stuffy and out-of-date.
Lorelai: Like what?
Emily: Like canapes and cocktail parties and the people who plan them.

Luke: Why question it? Go back over there.
Kirk: I can't. I don't understand what's happening. I mean, she was looking at me. Directly at me. At first I thought I had something on my lip, but I brushed and brushed and nothing. She was just looking at me.
Luke: Well, that's good.
Kirk: And I have prepared several small-talk subjects for the evening and I haven't used one of them.
Luke: You're making too much of this.
Kirk: This is not how it's supposed to go. I'm supposed to take her out, we're supposed to exhaust my prepared subjects immediately, and then the minute I get up and go to the bathroom, she is supposed to sneak out and leave me here humiliated. Now, I have been to the bathroom three times, and I have to tell you, I did not have to go, and every time I came back to the table, she was there and she was smiling, and... Hey, did you see her touch my arm? What the hell was that all about?
Luke: I think that means she likes you.
Kirk: Shut up! You take that back!

Luke: Kirk, Kirk, I am not gonna fight with you over you not believing that this girl likes you because, to be honest with you, I'm a little fuzzy on the "why" myself, but the bottom line is she does.
Kirk: She does?
Luke: Yes, she's laughing and smiling, and buckle up, cowboy, because I think she might actually touch you again.
Kirk: You think?
Luke: There's a frightening chance she might, so my advice to you is to go back over there and continue doing what you've been doing.
Kirk: I was doing my Jon Cryer from Pretty in Pink impression.
Luke: Duckie?
Kirk: Yes, Duckie.
Luke: Were you near the end of the movie yet?
Kirk: No, just getting to the "Try a Little Tenderness" moment.
Luke: You've got plenty of ammo left.