‘Afterboom’
Season 4, Episode 19 - Aired April 27, 2004
Lorelai confronts Richard about returning to his old firm and taking all of Jason's clients. Meanwhile, Luke finalizes his divorce with Nicole, and Rory isn't happy with the grade on her latest assignment.
Quote from Rory
Rory: Come on.
Lorelai: Hey, hey, there's no hurry. We're early.
Rory: Yes, but we're here, so we might as well go in and get it over with.
Lorelai: Okay, just relax, why don't you? I would like to stop and smell the roses if you don't mind.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: You're young. You don't understand these things. I'm old, I'm dying, I'm gonna smell a rose. Oh, I don't see a rose. I think there's one next door.
Rory: You're being a tad ridiculous.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: So, I spent all morning on the phone calling every hotel in the area with a decent high tea, and there she was. Grafton Hotel, room 421. Check-out date indefinite.
Jason: I'm sorry.
Lorelai: I can't believe my parents are separated. I mean, I dreamed about this as a kid. Of course, my scenario also involved my mother finding her inner Timothy Leary and moving us all out to a commune in Berkeley, but still... I was convinced that these people should not be together, but you know what? I was wrong. Richard and Emily Gilmore were made for each other. God, this is so freaky. And I'm not supposed to know, and of course we won't talk about it, because we don't do that in our family. We repress everything, and we refuse to go to therapy, because why tell a stranger your problems, when you can use them to punish those around you? So, what now? Every Friday I'm supposed to pretend that they still live together, and then after we leave, my mother will get in her car and drive back to the hotel? The hotel. My mother's living in a hotel. It's weird. It's just incredibly weird.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: So, what's for dessert?
Emily: We're not having dessert.
Rory: We're not?
Emily: I'm on a diet.
Richard: Americans are extremely fat.
Lorelai: I think they prefer Rubenesque.
Rory: You're not fat, Grandma.
Emily: Well, thank you, Lorelai.
Lorelai: She was close.
Quote from Lorelai
Luke: Hey.
Lorelai: Oh, I left a tip this time. And I didn't put it under the water glass, 'cause I know you hate that, and I made sure it didn't touch the syrup, 'cause that makes it sticky, and I didn't leave the last dollar in pennies just to get rid of them.
Luke: I know.
Lorelai: So, why are you running down the street yelling at me?
Luke: I wasn't running. I was walking. I wasn't yelling. I was talking.
Lorelai: Oh, what did you say?
Luke: "Hey."
Lorelai: Oh, hey.
Luke: You are a lot of work.
Lorelai: No, you're a lot of work.
Quote from Luke
Lorelai: Why don't you go to a lawyer's office?
Luke: I hate lawyers.
Lorelai: How about a friend's house?
Luke: Dougie and Scooter are off at camp.
Quote from Luke
Luke: I thought you needed stamps.
Lorelai: I can get them later.
Luke: What are you doing?
Lorelai: I just thought I'd give you some privacy.
Luke: I'm not taking a shower. I'm signing a paper.
Lorelai: I can come back later.
Luke: Will you please get in there and buy your stamps?
Lorelai: Okay, fine.
Luke: Lots and lots of work.
Quote from Kirk
Kirk: Welcome to Mail Boxes Etc. How may I help you?
Lorelai: [to Luke] You go ahead.
Luke: I need to get something notarized.
Kirk: Terrific. We are happy to help you with all of your mailing and notarizing needs. I will need you to fill out your name and address, and then I will need a thumbprint.
Luke: I know how it works, Kirk.
Kirk: You have a pen?
Luke: I have a pen.
Quote from Luke
Lorelai: What happened to your thumb?
Luke: It's from the thumbprint yesterday.
Lorelai: I thought they had inkless pads now.
Luke: They do, Kirk doesn't.
Lorelai: Right.
Luke: He hasn't even heard of them. He just uses the stuff that came in the notary kit he sent away for. I've been scrubbing my thumb for two days. I've tried soap, I've tried cleaning fluid-
Lorelai: Have you tried fire?
Luke: Now not only am I divorced, every time I look at my black thumb, I'm reminded that I'm divorced.
Lorelai: Sorry about your thumb.
Luke: It's okay. I have another one.
Quote from Lorelai
Lorelai: [on the phone] Jason's gone.
Rory: Finally had enough of you.
Lorelai: Oh, yeah. It took three hours of my hula-dancing, Small World doll impressions, but I broke him.
Quote from Rory
Rory: [on the phone] Have you talked to Grandma or Grandpa yet?
Lorelai: No.
Rory: Have you tried to talk to Grandma or Grandpa yet?
Lorelai: No.
Rory: That's my little Kofi Annan.