Gilmore Girls Quotes

Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai Gilmore has an especially close bond with her daughter, Rory, whom she had when she was sixteen. Wanting what's best for her daughter, Lorelai is even willing to reconnect with her estranged parents, Richard and Emily, so they will help put star pupil Rory through a local private school.

Starring: Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Melissa McCarthy, Keiko Agena, Yanic Truesdale, Scott Patterson, Kelly Bishop, Edward Herrmann, Liza Weil, Sean Gunn.
Recurring Actors: Jared Padalecki, Milo Ventimiglia, Sally Struthers, Liz Torres.
Original Run: 2000-2007.

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Quote from Kirk in The Real Paul Anka

Kirk: Sure you don't want to reconsider my offer? I've got a hairnet on me, so I can start immediately.
Luke: Offer declined.

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Quote from Lorelai in Let the Games Begin

Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.

Quote from Lane in Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too

Lane: [on the phone] Need I mention the rock 'n' roll casualties from intra-band dating?
Rory: I know they're numerous.
Lane: Not that there's not success stories. I mean, you've got your Cramps, your Yo La Tengo, your Kim and Thurstons.
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Early Years.
Lane: Plus, you've got bands that have survived breakups, No Doubt.
Rory: Wish they hadn't.
Lane: X, Supertramp, The White Stripes. But in the negative, you have...
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Later Years.
Lane: Jefferson Airplane, Fleetwood Mac. I know of two country music stars whose backup singers shot them in the groin.
Rory: Whoa. That's wicked hate.

Quote from Sookie in Luke Can See Her Face

Lorelai: How late can you stay, Sookie?
Sookie: As late as you want. Davey's with his grandparents, and Jackson's sleeping with the zucchini tonight.
Lorelai: What's that, farm jargon?
Sookie: No, he's sleeping with the zucchini.
Lorelai: But what does that mean, sleeping with the zucchini?
Sookie: It means he's sleeping with the zucchini.
Lorelai: Sookie, fill me in here. Where's Jackson?
Sookie: Well, he checked the forecast today, and there's a potential cold front coming in from Canada, and he knows how important the zucchini is for opening day menu, so...
Lorelai: Are you saying that "sleeping with the zucchini" means...
Sookie: He's sleeping with the zucchini.

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Quote from Lorelai in Paris Is Burning

Emily: I just wanna know what you were thinking. What was the reasoning? How on earth did you justify it to yourself?
Lorelai: Max is a great guy. An amazing guy. He's smart. He's sweet. He cooks.
Emily: So you decided to kiss him in your daughter's school.
Lorelai: No, I decided to break up with him in my daughter's school and the kissing part just happened.
Emily: You always let your emotions get in the way. That's the problem with you, Lorelai. You don't think.
Lorelai: Mom, please.
Emily: He's just a man, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, he's not.
Emily: Oh, so, what are you telling me? This was all worth it because he was the love of your life? That this was the man for you?
Lorelai: I don't know. He might have been. Excuse me.

Quote from Paris in The Perfect Dress

Rory: But, you know, you might want to ease up just a tad.
Paris: What do you mean?
Rory: You know, the "five minutes for the cookies," the "no talking" signs posted everywhere, the "no decorating your desk" rule, the new demerit system, the locks on the bathroom doors. It's just all a little, um, harsh and restrictive. This is a newsroom. People should be able to talk, yell, joke around-
Paris: I don't agree.
Rory: Go to the bathroom.
Paris: Journalism is an art form, and the best art is created under repression, like Stalin's gulag. You think Solzhenitsyn could have written One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich on a yoga retreat?

Quote from Lorelai in Face-Off

Jess: Why are you hassling me?
Lorelai: Well, mostly because I'm here to hassle you. Now, if you'd bothered calling, maybe Rory would be here to hassle you.
Jess: Hey, Rory knows I'm not the kind of guy who lives by a schedule.
Lorelai: Yes, and look what the guy who doesn't live by a schedule ends up doing on a Saturday night. Talking to his girlfriend's mother.
Jess: Whatever.
Lorelai: Hey, Jess. You like music, right? The Beach Boys said it best. "None of the guys go steady ‘cause it wouldn't be right to leave their best girls home on a Saturday night." Rory is one of the best girls. She's the best girl, if you want my opinion, and you don't seem to have the first idea as to how she should be treated.
Jess: Well, luckily I've got you to tell me.
Lorelai: Not anymore. You and I have discussed your relationship with Rory long enough.