Gilmore Girls Quotes

Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai Gilmore has an especially close bond with her daughter, Rory, whom she had when she was sixteen. Wanting what's best for her daughter, Lorelai is even willing to reconnect with her estranged parents, Richard and Emily, so they will help put star pupil Rory through a local private school.

Starring: Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Melissa McCarthy, Keiko Agena, Yanic Truesdale, Scott Patterson, Kelly Bishop, Edward Herrmann, Liza Weil, Sean Gunn.
Recurring Actors: Jared Padalecki, Milo Ventimiglia, Sally Struthers, Liz Torres.
Original Run: 2000-2007.

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Quote from Paris in The Great Stink

Bill: When the editor in chief isn't here, the managing editor's in charge. That's standard operating procedure at every newspaper in the country.
Paris: Yes, but I've done this 1,000 times, and you've never done it, Bill. Experience.
Bill: Experience that led to a mutiny. It's not like anyone ever gave Captain Bligh another ship after the Bounty.
Paris: Of course they did, multiple ships, and by the time he died, they promoted the guy to Rear Admiral. Do you think the British royal navy ruled the world in the 19th century by letting that much natural talent and leadership capability go to waste just because a few whiny complainers wanted more breadfruit and less scurvy?

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Quote from Lorelai in Let the Games Begin

Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.

Quote from Lane in Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too

Lane: [on the phone] Need I mention the rock 'n' roll casualties from intra-band dating?
Rory: I know they're numerous.
Lane: Not that there's not success stories. I mean, you've got your Cramps, your Yo La Tengo, your Kim and Thurstons.
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Early Years.
Lane: Plus, you've got bands that have survived breakups, No Doubt.
Rory: Wish they hadn't.
Lane: X, Supertramp, The White Stripes. But in the negative, you have...
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Later Years.
Lane: Jefferson Airplane, Fleetwood Mac. I know of two country music stars whose backup singers shot them in the groin.
Rory: Whoa. That's wicked hate.

Quote from Sookie in Luke Can See Her Face

Lorelai: How late can you stay, Sookie?
Sookie: As late as you want. Davey's with his grandparents, and Jackson's sleeping with the zucchini tonight.
Lorelai: What's that, farm jargon?
Sookie: No, he's sleeping with the zucchini.
Lorelai: But what does that mean, sleeping with the zucchini?
Sookie: It means he's sleeping with the zucchini.
Lorelai: Sookie, fill me in here. Where's Jackson?
Sookie: Well, he checked the forecast today, and there's a potential cold front coming in from Canada, and he knows how important the zucchini is for opening day menu, so...
Lorelai: Are you saying that "sleeping with the zucchini" means...
Sookie: He's sleeping with the zucchini.

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Quote from Lorelai in Paris Is Burning

Emily: I just wanna know what you were thinking. What was the reasoning? How on earth did you justify it to yourself?
Lorelai: Max is a great guy. An amazing guy. He's smart. He's sweet. He cooks.
Emily: So you decided to kiss him in your daughter's school.
Lorelai: No, I decided to break up with him in my daughter's school and the kissing part just happened.
Emily: You always let your emotions get in the way. That's the problem with you, Lorelai. You don't think.
Lorelai: Mom, please.
Emily: He's just a man, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, he's not.
Emily: Oh, so, what are you telling me? This was all worth it because he was the love of your life? That this was the man for you?
Lorelai: I don't know. He might have been. Excuse me.

Quote from Sookie in Luke Can See Her Face

Lorelai: How late can you stay, Sookie?
Sookie: As late as you want. Davey's with his grandparents, and Jackson's sleeping with the zucchini tonight.
Lorelai: What's that, farm jargon?
Sookie: No, he's sleeping with the zucchini.
Lorelai: But what does that mean, sleeping with the zucchini?
Sookie: It means he's sleeping with the zucchini.
Lorelai: Sookie, fill me in here. Where's Jackson?
Sookie: Well, he checked the forecast today, and there's a potential cold front coming in from Canada, and he knows how important the zucchini is for opening day menu, so...
Lorelai: Are you saying that "sleeping with the zucchini" means...
Sookie: He's sleeping with the zucchini.

Quote from Lorelai in Luke Can See Her Face

Lorelai: [on the phone]Everyone knows. They can see it in my face. "She's single again. She couldn't make it work again. She picked the wrong guy again." Hey, do not lick yourself in front of me.
Rory: Mom, I need you to get a grip. You're tired, you're stressed out, and you're not seeing things clearly.
Lorelai: Oh, my God!
Rory: What?
Lorelai: There are two of them. They're not even easing me into this, those bastards.
Rory: I give up.
Lorelai: I guess I need to start collecting newspapers and magazines, find a blue bathrobe, lose my front teeth.
Rory: Well, obviously, you've got a busy day ahead of you, so I'm gonna let you go.
Lorelai: Yarn balls. I need to find some yarn balls.
Rory: Bye.
Lorelai: [to the cats] Hey, I am a young, desirable woman.