Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.

Lane: [on the phone] Need I mention the rock 'n' roll casualties from intra-band dating?
Rory: I know they're numerous.
Lane: Not that there's not success stories. I mean, you've got your Cramps, your Yo La Tengo, your Kim and Thurstons.
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Early Years.
Lane: Plus, you've got bands that have survived breakups, No Doubt.
Rory: Wish they hadn't.
Lane: X, Supertramp, The White Stripes. But in the negative, you have...
Rory: Sonny and Cher, the Later Years.
Lane: Jefferson Airplane, Fleetwood Mac. I know of two country music stars whose backup singers shot them in the groin.
Rory: Whoa. That's wicked hate.

Rory: Ready?
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Rory: No.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."

Emily: I just wanna know what you were thinking. What was the reasoning? How on earth did you justify it to yourself?
Lorelai: Max is a great guy. An amazing guy. He's smart. He's sweet. He cooks.
Emily: So you decided to kiss him in your daughter's school.
Lorelai: No, I decided to break up with him in my daughter's school and the kissing part just happened.
Emily: You always let your emotions get in the way. That's the problem with you, Lorelai. You don't think.
Lorelai: Mom, please.
Emily: He's just a man, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, he's not.
Emily: Oh, so, what are you telling me? This was all worth it because he was the love of your life? That this was the man for you?
Lorelai: I don't know. He might have been. Excuse me.

Rory: Hey, it's freezing.
Lorelai: What do you need? Hot tea, coffee?
Rory: Lip gloss.
Lorelai: Uh-huh. I have vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and toasted marshmallow.
Rory: Anything in there not resembling a breakfast cereal?
Lorelai: Yes. It has no smell, but it changes colors with your mood.
Rory: God. RuPaul doesn't need this much makeup.
Lorelai: Well, you're crabby.
Rory: I'm sorry. I lost my Macy Gray CD, and I need caffeine.
Lorelai: Oh, I have your CD.
Rory: Thief.
Lorelai: Sorry, and I will get you some coffee.

Richard: Ah. Lovely party. I enjoyed the reading material immensely.
Rory: So what's the verdict?
Richard: I... am an autumn.
Rory: Interesting.
Richard: Isn't it?