‘The One with Two Parts: Part 2’
Season 1, Episode 17 - Aired February 23, 1995
After Rachel injured herself finally taking down the Christmas lights, Monica takes her to the hospital and finds out Rachel doesn't have any insurance. The pair swap identities so Rachel can be treated on Monica's insurance, but when they meet a pair of attractive doctors they're forced to keep up the deception longer than they anticipated.
Meanwhile, Phoebe tries to soften the blow for Joey when Ursula decides to end their relationship without even telling him, and Ross questions whether he will ever feel like a father.
Quote from Ross
Monica: Surprise!
Ross: What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap out of me.
Rachel: Was that the cake?
Ross: Yeah. I got a lemon shmush.
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: Hi, everybody. Hi, Betty. Betty, hi. You found Betty. Oh, my gosh. This is so great. Everybody I love is in the same room. Where's Joey?
Chandler: Did you see Betty?
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Listen, why don't you guys sit down, and we'll get you some glasses. Um, stat.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: You know what? You know what?
Monica: What? What?
Rachel: Every day you are becoming more and more like your mother.
Quote from Monica
Rachel: I've been here about six years. And Rachel moved in a few months ago.
Monica: See, yeah, I was supposed to get married but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
Dr. Michael Mitchell: Really?
Monica: Yeah. Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but, hey, that's me.
Quote from Rachel
Dr. Jeffrey Rosen: So, Monica, what do you do?
Rachel: Uh, I am a, uh, chef at a restaurant uptown.
Dr. Jeffrey Rosen: Oh, good for you.
Rachel: Yeah, it is. Mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
Quote from Monica
Monica: [laughing for no reason] Oh, God. I am so spoiled. That's it.
Quote from Ross
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
Ross: Good. Maybe he can switch it back. Maybe not.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Um, oh, I got you a birthday present.
Ursula: Oh, wow, you remembered.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, have a heart.